I
actually wrote this piece last October; I changed a date in the text but the
rest remains unedited, unfiltered and my truth. I can write about myself better
than I "tell it" ..I don't like putting myself on blast but I realize
, as a writer, I will have to at some point. INTROVERTS UNITE - separately!!!!
Now,
is the winter of my discontent…. a paraphrase from Richard III; I love
Shakespeare. I thought it only fitting that I use the line as an opening for
this particular blurb.
It
has become incumbent upon me that I dispel some magical, mystical thinking
about yours truly - not going to say gossip and lies that would be rude ; P
The
biggest myth…I am not now nor have I ever been an addict; I smoked, toked and
drank like any other person when I was in my 20’s but it just didn't appeal to
me (not that I find the issue repugnant or anything – we ALL have our
demons). I know many people who are active in their addictions and even
more who love recovery. I’m not knocking any of them I have much respect for their
battle.
I
became an addiction counselor as a result of attending seminary. I loved
studying theological issues and constructs but I knew that I was not called to
be a minister. Counseling was a natural progression.
I
identify as a Christian but don’t you ever make the mistake of heaping me in
with the fundamentalist and hate mongering denominational elitist that seem to
think they have exclusive rights to Christianity. I will take you to task and
give you a “street corner” sermon. I am a radical, thinking Christian who
preaches and teaches the same social justice that Jesus laid down! I’m not
telling people they’re going to hell for such and such…I’m telling them to get
right, think right, act right, love right and pass it on.
Two
– This one gets me into a lot of trouble…I am out and proud. I don’t think I’m
a man, have no desire to be a man, I don’t hate men, ain't trying to convert
nobody, have no desire to chase after every woman I see (truth be told some
folks make me wish I couldn't see) I only have eyes for one person (don’t do
that TV –serial monogamy, made for TV lesbian drama) I’m your
“friendly dyke next door” you can borrow my tools or we can swap
recipes…you know where you fall on the spectrum.
Three-
I’m not dying, near death or ill. I have had a few medical issues in my
lifetime asthma – it went undiagnosed for years. TB – I got exposed as a result
of the job (damaged my right lung- really cool with asthma), tore my ACL –
years of basketball, softball and weightlifting wrecked my knee. My latest
“blessing” has been breast cancer. I’m 5 years clear. (5 years is considered
free and clear date).
I
call breast cancer a blessing because it taught me to slow down and to examine,
appreciate and to hold on to the things that really matter.
Four
– It took me a while to get this because I was so used to other people labeling
it for me. I am not shy or stuck up. I’m an introvert. I am very selective
about who I let in my circle. I don’t like a whole lot of “unnecessary” noise
and chatter. I like to problem solve and retreat. I want everyone to
accomplish what they need to accomplish and be happy but I can’t and I won’t
help them in a spotlight with a bunch of fanfare. I have to do things in my own
way on my terms (force me out of this box and there will be hell to pay)
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