Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Let the Church say Amen

This is not a short story or a poem, I would call it more of an essay; a virtual chat, computer intimacy. I would say this is me exposing my vulnerabilities and connecting to my readership on a level that I have never done before; so, with that being said, let me welcome you into my world.

I often have conversations with Miss T about self-reflection and self-examination. One such conversation led me to ask this question: Who do I say I am and who does God say I am? Do they line up? I asked this question because 1) I am in the midst of a spiritual revival in my life (my spirituality is a very large part of who I am and my character but I was closed off and disconnected from it for many years) and 2) I am in a state of change and open to things that I have dismissed and discredited in the past. Given these two facts plus my usual level of anxiety and angst you can imagine my feelings of vulnerability and discomfort. I feel these things, not in a bad way, I feel them because I know they are all part of God’s plan for my life…


A few years ago, I had a hedonistic, prodigal son moment and I walked away from my spiritual truths, direction and guidance. Foolishly, I chose to follow a myopic vision; I went for what looked and felt good and I can honestly say IT DAMNED NEAR KILLED ME! I wandered for almost 16 years. I managed to disconnect from so many vital things that kept me mindful of the fact that I was a human being. 

A few weeks back I wrote something about how the enemy uses our choices to help kill us. He appeals to our egos and actually uses us as a weapon in our own demise; the very first step in the destruction is a separation from God. Note I use the word destruction because when the end comes there is usually nothing left.

So now, here I am, so many years later thanking God for allowing me to live through the experience; for correcting my vision, for learning to acknowledge His word, His restoration and supplication. In my awaking I can humble myself and I can honestly say that His ways are so much better. I must stay humble, I must stay focused and I must lend a constant heart, as well as ear to the things and words of God. 

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