4
Revelation
I awoke
to the sounds of my mother’s “pan music” in the kitchen. I called the familiar
rattle of pots and pans pan music because she could make a meal sing and this
morning it was like I was hearing Mariah Carey hitting all the high notes. I smelled ham and honey biscuits. I got up and
made my bed and headed off to the shower. I heard the doorbell but I paid it no
mind figuring it was a contractor coming in to work on the back of the house. I
was surprised to see Roni when I walked back into my room.
“Hey! What you doin’ here so early?’
“I smelled your mama’s breakfast cookin’ and I invited
myself over.”
“Shut the hell up….and get your butt up off my bed I just
made it!”
“Yo, just put some clothes on ….we ain't in the locker room.
Plus, I hear them honey biscuits screaming my name.”
“You only eat breakfast with me every so often and it’s
usually when you and your grandmother get into it. So what went down today?”
“It all ties into your call last night but we can talk about
it on the way to school…let’s go eat I’m hungry as hell.”
I hurried and dressed and we bolted downstairs to find two
huge plates of ham, eggs and honey biscuits.
“Ma, you haven’t burned like this since the holidays. We
should have moved Madea in several years ago if I knew it would get you workin’
like this” I said giving my mother a peck on the cheek.
“And I would have let you both adopt me.” Roni said
following in kind.
“Y’all sit down and eat before it gets cold.” She said
standing back to watch us take it all in.
We ate in relative silence; mom was
hovering about. After breakfast we rinsed our dishes and grabbed our backpacks
to head out the door.
“I’ll be later than usual moms, I have a meeting and
practice. I’ll call you when I’m headed out.” I called back over my shoulder as
we closed the door.
“So what’s the deal Roni?” I asked rather gruffly.
“Damn what you mad at cuz? Why you got all the bass tones?”
“I apologize for sounding mad but I’m a little pissed that I
had to get an email to find out that there was a secret. You tell me
everything!”
“I know D but this thing here is deep; it ain’t no big deal
to me but it’s turning into one. I came over for breakfast because someone got
to my grandmother with this bullshit and it has taken on a life of its own.”
“Sorry, Roni, man, I know how your grandmother can get all
up holy and forget that she’s here on Earth.”
“Before I break it down let me ask you was Tanya the first
person to email you?”
“Yeah! How did you know?”
“That broad started this shit because she mad.”
“What is she mad about?”
“Seriously D, you don’t know? “
“What am I supposed to be knowing?”
“Alright, long story short. I’m gay. I was trying to get at
Tanya’s best friend and Tanya had been blockin’ for weeks. She caught me and
ol’ girl hemmed up and went bat shit crazy. We was just talkin’ but standin’
real close and here she come putting shit on blast with stereo.”
I wasn't shocked. I wasn't much of anything because I never
thought of Roni as anything but my best friend. We never discussed sex,
sexuality or anything that had to do with romance. We always talked about who
we thought was cute and who wore the hell outta whatever outfit but I truly
never thought of her as a sexual being; hearing her identify hit close to home
because the declaration bought a lot of questions up for me.
Senior year was officially kicked off with DRAMA; my primary
focus shifted from the trivial, who's wearing what and what's the last math
assignment to issues of sexuality, acceptance and humanity. I was concerned
about my friend and how she would be treated but deep down I was more concerned
about me. I had never even given thought to sexuality but her revelation made
me quietly question myself.
The day was grueling. The was a definitive buzz in the
cafeteria; nodding acquaintances and faces from the game day bleachers now
wanted to stop and chat.
Tanya and her entourage entered the cafeteria just as we
were about to enjoy our meals in the limelight of stares and whispers. She sent
one of her minions to get her lunch as she made it a point to sit at our table.
"Hey Deni, how are you? Did you get my email?" she
asked in a sickening sweet tone all the while shooting dirty looks at Roni.
I could feel all eyes gravitating to our lunch table so I
had to proceed with caution.
"Yeah, I got your email and did you get my response?
Since we're all sitting right here let's discuss it."
I looked at Roni and said, " it seems the email was
about you. Tanya here asked the question, where they do that at? I had no idea
what the question pertained to so I'm glad you two are together so she can ask
you directly."
Tanya's evil eye shifted from Roni and to me for putting her
on blast and not allowing her to control the situation.
"Where they do what at Tanya?" I heard Roni ask in
a nasty tone.
"You know what I'm talking about !"
"I do, but unlike you I'm not going to drag anyone else
into this conversation Bottom line, I'm gay !, I was trying to talk to somebody
but you always seemed to be around blocking and this little stunt you pulled
prevents me from ever really trying to see where it could have gone. But since
you insist on asking questions let me ask one, if, I may be so bold and please
make note of the fact that I'm not going to your friends or sending school wide
emails. Why were you always around and why are you now mad like I did something
to you?"
I was so proud of Roni. She shut Tanya with two very basic
questions. She didn't have to raise her voice or cause a scene. Roni pretty
much insured that she was going to be able to cope with her sexuality
throughout high school and college.
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