Losing My Religion By: KB 12 23 15

There’s an R.E.M. that was quite popular some years back; the lyrics are: 

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion

I am so there! I am so sick of the delusional thinking and subtle brainwashing that leading Black folks into apathy , lethargy and eventually slaughter. It’s all done under the guise and gall of religion. People are telling themselves that their anger about certain things is un-Christian…wake the hell up!!!

A while back I came across the question: would you be a Christian today if your slave master wasn’t a Christian? I struggled with and still wrestle with that very loaded question….I believe in God but I am really struggling with the label of Christian because I’ve seen and heard some very poor representatives of Christianity…all the while justifying and rationalizing their character defects in scriptural deflections.

I also looked up a very perplexing bit of scripture that many people still use to justify their madness or excuse their apathy.

Colossians 3:22     Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.

This passage is used by abusers and victims alike; the abuser tells their victim that their abuse is sanctioned by God and the victim tells themselves that it’s not Christian to be angry or rebel against the abuse. This mentality is the very reason why it’s “open season” on Black folks. We are still viewed as property and we are brainwashed into believing we must tolerate the abuse.

Oh my people I am her to tell you that you are taking your scripture waaaaaaaaaaaaay out of context. If you believe that the passage deals with obedience and the “slave master” is teaching it to you…isn’t he/she held to the same level of accountability? If God is about love doesn’t he/she have a moral obligation to abide by the same standard? So why are you apologizing for YOUR mistreatment?

Let’s look at one of the well-known Commentary’s on the passage:

Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary

3:18-25 The epistles most taken up in displaying the glory of the Divine grace, and magnifying the Lord Jesus, are the most particular in pressing the duties of the Christian life. We must never separate the privileges and duties of the gospel. Submission is the duty of wives. But it is submission, not to a severe lord or stern tyrant, but to her own husband, who is engaged to affectionate duty. And husbands must love their wives with tender and faithful affection. Dutiful children are the most likely to prosper. And parents must be tender, as well as children obedient. Servants are to do their duty, and obey their masters' commands, in all things consistent with duty to God their heavenly Master. They must be both just and diligent; without selfish designs, or hypocrisy and disguise. Those who fear God, will be just and faithful when from under their master's eye, because they know they are under the eye of God. And do all with diligence, not idly and slothfully; cheerfully, not discontented at the providence of God which put them in that relation. And for servants' encouragement, let them know, that in serving their masters according to the command of Christ, they serve Christ, and he will give them a glorious reward at last. But, on the other hand, he who doeth wrong, shall receive for the wrong which he hath done. God will punish the unjust, as well as reward the faithful servant; and the same if masters wrong their servants. For the righteous Judge of the earth will deal justly between master and servant. Both will stand upon a level at his tribunal. How happy would true religion make the world, if it everywhere prevailed, influenced every state of things, and every relation of life! But the profession of those persons who are regardless of duties, and give just cause for complaint to those they are connected with, deceives themselves, as well as brings reproach on the gospel.

How can you continue to participate, don’t kid yourselves apathy and lethargy are passive forms of participation; in the things that YOU know are not from God.

How ya livin’ 

Bye Bye Bye By: KB 12.15.15

As the New Year fast approaches I want to take time to self-reflect, in font off course, and address the good, the bad and the ugly of 2014.

The good: I had an opportunity to really just let go and be a kid again. I got out of the house and explored the city and enjoyed a few sites that I had let slip by the wayside. Note to self, you live in an amazing city and you owe it to yourself to explore every hidden nook and cranny; even if you’ve been to the place a thousand times you can constantly see things with fresh new eyes. I don’t like the beach but I love the sound of the waves and the smell of the ocean so I compromised and hung out by the SF yacht club and then headed down to the tourist spots on the pier. I rediscovered restaurants and dives…I have to admit I’m kind of partial to the dives because they remind me of my childhood and my blue collar roots.

The bad:  I am fortunate not to have too much bad but what I did have was bad enough to get me in focus and grounded in life. Let’s start with the most recent….a 1 week stay in the hospital due to a cyst and a really outrageous fever as a result of a strange bacterial infection….(still undetermined how I picked up the bacteria) The pain was excruciating and I have a very high pain threshold. I am still on antibiotics (mind you I was hospitalized on November 12^th and it’s now December 15^th. It just speaks to the severity of the situation). During the hospitalization I found out that I’m dancing with the devil diabetes. I have a family history but I’m fighting like hell to manage my blood sugar this on top of already having genetic high blood pressure.

 I’m including the fact that I had to let go of some folks in 2015, not to a physical death but to a mental and emotional releasing. I believe Gwyneth Paltrow said it best when she coined the phrase “conscious uncoupling.” I realized that I hold on to people or things far too long thinking they’re going to get better or make adjustments…extending the benefit of the doubt when doubt is all there ever is. I’ve release some people due to extreme selfishness…they had no qualms about depleting my resources while hoarding theirs; calling upon me to add stress to my life. You know the folks who call on you like you’re Olivia Pope (Scandal) to fix their lives only so you can accommodate their own hedonism. I had to release my own notion of romanticism and romantic love because not everyone can and will appreciate it. I had to understand it was born out of my own need….. which leads me to the ugly.

The ugly: I had to realize that the notion of my “romanticism and incurable romantic” (oh! Trust I’m cured) was birth from my childhood insecurities and dysfunction….and it led me to a place of thirst (some of y’all know what thirst means on a street level but I’m talking about in a Biblical sense….I had a serious desert experience. I was left to wander an emotional wilderness to really search my soul and I learned some hard truths but the beauty of it all is that I lived to tell about it. I’ve gone through it hopefully I’ve learned all of what it had to teach me and I am so much better for having gone through it.

 

I am reborn, refocus and rejuvenated from all of 2015 and I am ready to taste the fruit that the good Lord sees fit to provide….

How ya livin’?

Confessions By: KB 12 1 15

I’ve been silent for a minute because 1) I have been dealing with some health issues and 2) I have been really struggling with the idea of getting buck naked candid about my life. I’ve always been a bit on the puny side so I expect health issues to pop up every now and again; it’s just second nature to me and I just roll with whatever shows up. Now, as far as getting buck naked transparent in my writing, that’s a horse of another color. I’ve always been a private person – private to the point of being somewhat of a recluse. I have a tendency to show just enough of myself to let you know I’m alive and I’m real. Exposing myself in font is a new genre for yours truly but as the old folks used to say “tell the truth and shame the devil.”  With that being said – here goes:

For as “OUT”, bold and open as I am….I am also very, very conservative. I hold firm and fast to some very traditional values so you can imagine my surprise when I discovered I was a “f#$k boi” For those of you who do not know what that means I suggest you hit this link http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/fuck-boy

Now, this is not an “ah- ha!” moment this is the culmination of some various life lessons. I’m not saying I wasn’t successful in relationships. I had 1 major long term relationship (over 14 years) and a few that went two or more years. I say it’s a culmination of life lessons because over the years I heard words and phrases like settled, too vanilla, bored, too nice……..but it took one person to really open my eyes to what I don’t EVER want and I had to learn that lesson being that F--- boi…I never knew what hit me until I was steamrollered; I am pretty street smart so it only added insult to injury but you best believe I got the life lesson!

I fell into a puddle of feelings and I allowed myself to be submerged…but trust and believe things dried up really quickly when I started really looking at the warning signs AND THERE WERE PLENTY!!! I’m attracted to strong women; sisters who can do things for themselves but I had to learn that there are far too many insecure sister hiding behind the façade of “can do” and are using bluster and rude as a poor substitute for strength….but here I am firmly entrenched in my feelings and now caught up in the whirlpool of insecurity…both mine and theirs. But like most folks in recovery…..you just learn to thank God for the moment of clarity……my faith , yes, I said my faith (being gay does not exclude me from being connected to my Higher power no more than my giving in to my flesh….we all fall short)

What did I learn from the experience? ….being led by feelings is a sorry way to live…you’re always going to drift aimlessly from one crisis to the next. Be still and know what you want and how you want it….be willing to compromise but not to the point where you lose sight of the initial desire. Most importantly TRUST your Higher Power to lead

The Terror Within BY: KB 11 9 15

As Veteran's Day approaches...I want to share some of my thoughts about the military My family is chocked full of service men and women from West Point to Commissioned Officers. My father was a 20 year man....although most of what he told me about his service was lies...I know that the majority of the family stood tall and served proudly. I was even pursued and recruited for service just prior to graduating from high school...up until the point where I told my father there was no way in hell that I was going to don any uniform of service. I cited the same principles that ALI told our draft board.

Needless to say my father was as mad as hell....but I also had to remind him of the fact that I 

remember every last picture and newsreel from Vietnam. I had to remind him of the heroin that had come from the jungles that blighted our neighborhoods. I had to remind him of the fact that a teenage boy, our neighbor, had used that very drug to commit suicide in order to avoid the draft. I salute and honor all who wear the uniform and who proudly serve....I respect that and the bravery it took to step onto foreign soil to serve. 

My fight is here!!! I rage war and rail against a system that creates the electric fence that holds just enough charge to stun....don't think I haven't notice that the voltage has changed. I fight against a system that forced feed a diet of death and tries to convince me I'm at a banquet. I fight against a system that consistently tells me to wave a flag when someone else gets to dictate what rights and protection I will have under the empty banner. My battle is with the domestic enemy.

Rude IS A POOR SUBSTITUTE FOR KNOWLEDGE AND POWER By: KB 11.2.15

I have a very definitive sense of right and wrong. If I’m wrong I can admit it, make amends and move on… What I don’t suffer and will not tolerate under NO circumstances is ignorance and rudeness being disguised as power. I cannot and I will not suffer fools and it’s not my job to see to it that you obtain knowledge. I can only share what I know and it’s up to the individual to accept or reject it.

Let me just say I now know how both my mom and grandma felt when they offered their wisdom and it was promptly rejected as old-fashioned or nonsense. I now understand why old folks used to say “children should be seen and not heard.” Most times, It wasn’t said in the context of disrespect or silencing a child’s voice it was spoken more so in the context of and intervention because the older person had lived through the experience.

With the onslaught of social media kids believe that can say and do what they want without impunity. They believe that they are making valid and informed decisions based on something that they’ve read on the net……..REALLY?!!! An incredible amount of misinformation and biased reporting is generated en masse and then disseminated to the internet populous to do what they do with it. We quote shaky sources like busy dung beetles.

Don’t get angry with me because I tell you that I don’t give a damn about Cookie or Luscious Lyon…they are tv characters!  Turn off the tv and turn off the stereotypes and read a damn book …learn about you! Don’t get angry with me when I point out and call out institutionalized racism. The people who don’t “see color” are silent accomplices in their own oppression; the people who see it yet remain silent are also responsible for the offense.

Stop the madness……..stop perpetuating stereotypes….embrace your potential and walk in your calling!!!

Now, let me repeat this yet again….my pro-Black is not anti-white….I want people to detach from all the self-loathing and toxicity that has been taught and heaped upon them about their Black heritage. Divorce your miseducation and teach someone the truth. Break free from your mental colonization...

How ya livin'?

Don’t Read This If You’re Sensitive….Cause I’m About To Tell It Like It T-I Tis BY : KB 10 28 15

Eryka Badu starts off one of her songs with” now keep in mind that I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my shit…” With that in mind allow me to do what I do…

Now keep in mind that I’m a lesbian and I’m serious about my sisters….and I would be remiss if I didn’t take the time to school you on a few things…

First, and foremost please haul off and slap any woman who start spouting and touting this pseudo-feminist bullshit. You know the young sisters who will tell you without hesitation that Beyonce is a feminist and will then start talking about power, money and other material shit that doesn’t matter. 

Beyonce is no damn feminist!!!! Yes, she has power and clout but she has set women so far back in the fight for equality….Beyonce has allowed herself to be objectified and racialized as a “Masters’ fantasy. Yes, there’s power in the punanny , men and women came through it and have been trying to get back in it since the beginning of time, but it’s an empty victory because men and woman will then be on the prowl /hunt for something more exciting.  The power of the “nanny” should be used in such a way where whoever you’re with knows that there is nothing better…how do you achieve this? You achieve it by respecting the sanctity and sacredness of your yoni (look it up) and treating it with as a sacred gift.

Gloria Steinem’s definition of feminism is : feminism simply means complete social and economic equality between men and women -- not man-hating, angry women, as pop culture often makes feminists out to be. Betty Friedan, author of The Feminine Mystique also subscribed to and opened America’s eyes to the idea of equal rights….now for as powerful as these women were in the fight…I have to ask where are the Black women? Have we been once again whitewashed from the history? Our fight is somewhat different but I see or hear no references to them. No disrespect to the Jewish sisters who fought the good fight but you lost some credibility in my eyes because of the exclusion…once again we see that “we the people” means white people.

Now, let me shift gears a bit and address some of the misguided youngsters who idolize Nicki Minaj and Beyonce….you guys have confused materialism with power and respect….and if you have spent any time really listening to true hustlers and folks on the grind you would know that all money ain’t good money! You also fail to realize that you embrace yet another stereotype that is meant to shame and degrade you and you try to normalize the bullshit. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a young sister say  “…but I’m a good one” after some joker has called her a bitch. That’s the same mentality that young brothers use when they try to convince you that they have embraced the N word because they have the power and control of how it’s used….you forget that no matter how many ways YOU use it that people have be hurt beyond measure because of it. You forget that folks have died for your right to be treated as kings and queens yet you still co-sign the ignorance by using the words on one another and the person that’s trying to keep you oppressed is gaining capital in your ignorance. 

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard mother’s tell their daughters “don’t let no man lay up in your house without payin’ for something.” Mama…did you really mean to give your daughter the message to whore herself out? How did you forget the sanctity of the Yoni? Are you removed from your own hurt and pain that you’re normalizing the bullshit by telling your child that she can and should endure the same degradation as long as she is being paid?

Now for you sisters who embrace the words bitch and ho like it’s on your birth certificate, y’all scare me. I know you’re none of these things but y’all have gotten to comfortable suiting up in uniform and playing for the home team. You have substituted rudeness for power and you’ve come to believe that the material things you amass somehow define your character. You’ve become so shallow and insecure that you take great pleasure in tearing down other sisters or you’re only friends with them because their fragility makes you look better.

Oh my sisters….we have been miseducated to the point of believing that individuality means to squash our sisters. We have been sold a W.A.S.P principle that does not fit our cultural sensibilities…we are from villages, tribes, counties and hamlets that thrive because of the sense of community……get back to loving you, loving your people and loving your community

How Ya livin’?

I’M NOT BLIND, NOR AM I DEAF….I’ve seen and heard it all KB: 10.25.15

Just a share of what I had to overcome to get to the tough as nails fighter, don’t give a damn, tell it like it is person… that I am

Recent conversations flooded my brain with crazy bad memories and lies my father told me…WWII was 1939- 1945  (beginning when Germany invades Poland) My father was born in 1937…he somehow manages to defy time to be a Paratrooper in Germany with a German wife….and got seriously pissed to the point of wanting to hit me because I knew the historic timeline. The so called wife was a picture he cut out of my mother’s yearbook.

My father always traveled with a pack of sleazy brothers who would only come to our house to drink his liquor and try to talk really slick and slimy to my mom. Then my father would have the nerve to go all crazy violent with my mother and never said anything to the sleazy muthas he brought to the house

My father also had his artist phase were he walked around wearing a beret…telling people that he spoke French. He even gave himself the middle name Maurice….he never had a middle name. I spoke French, I was pretty good at it thanks to a high school teacher…he, however didn’t have a clue.

My father attended college off and on to compete with various people in his life…when in reality his reading, writing and comprehension level was a strong indication of why he opted for a military outlet

My father would often brag on his contributions to my well being and education when in reality he didn’t do a damn thing in any way, shape or form. He lived in the house for my entire childhood and never paid rent or bought groceries…if he bought food it was for him only! He never bought a school supply or school clothes

There are NO FOND memories!!! I did not like or respect the man…I feared him and at some point the fear dissipated and I constantly challenged him (if you beat something long enough it will either cower and die or it will turn on you….I had just enough steel in my character to fight….I am not afraid to take a beating fighting for what I believe in)  but I look at the experiences like this….there are people in your life who you want to emulate and there are those who show you how not to proceed in life. 

I have a lot of kids in my life and I try to be a strong presence and a positive role model. I won’t co-sign something because it’s what someone wants to hear…I’m going to tell these kids they screwed up but I am going to love and support them through it. I’m not going to love with terms and conditions and mete out or withhold love out like a system of reward and punishments

Shout out to all my friends who have lost mothers or fathers as a result of domestic violence....I know the trauma of seeing someone you love brutalized and I know your struggle to be in a "normal/stable" relationships with anyone...we had few examples

Shout all to all the aunties and uncles who stepped up and stood in the gap in service and prayer

If I Have Not Love BY:KB 10 25 15

What can I say? I had a make or break moment yesterday where all my humanity (humanness/flesh) came against all my faith. The struggle is real y’all….I had a Jacob moment where I had to wrestle with something until it blessed me and the scary thing is that I had to rely totally on the Holy Spirit to guide me in a matter of seconds. I did so knowing that how I responded would and could dramatically change lives. I just want to take a second to thank God for discernment.

The words of 1 Corinthians 13 just popped into my spirit this morning..not the entire passage but the words “if I have not love…” Sometimes in life you have to look long and hard at the word love and fully understand ALL the definitions, terms and conditions of the word.

I had to personally question how much hypocrisy would be acceptable for me; hypocrisy, the very thing that I rail against on a regular basis and here it is front and center in my life.

It’s me, it’s me, it’s me oh Lord

Got 99 Problems But My Dad Ain’t 1 KB 10.24.15

Wow!!!!  My uncle, who I have not seen or spoken to in 37 years just reached out to me on Facebook. We have not spoken due to fractured family relationships….but I have no beef with him…he has always been beyond cool with me. He would come by and say hello and hang out with us despite my father’s and his father’s insanity and dysfunction.

My back and forth conversation with him brought back some very vivid memories and also highlighted the fact that no matter what I’ve done and what I’ve become in life my father would find fault with all of it. It was hard enough being an honors student and a recruited athlete…he always found a way to attach an exception to all my laurels. The thing that would really bring forth venom and bile is the fact that I’m openly gay, living out loud and proud.

I was once asked by an arm-chair psychiatrist (you know, that person that can quote self-help rhetoric) like it’s a mantra.) if I  believe I was gay because I have “daddy issue”?  I gave the question all the time it deserved maybe 2 seconds , 1 second, too long….before I responded. I have known I was different since the age of about 5…I just didn’t know what to call it. When I did know there was a word for it…the word that the adults around me used were never positive or affirming  (faggot, funny, punk, sissy, dyke and bulldagger) so I learned to lie and cover up who I was …up until about the age 25.

I do own up to having “daddy issues” and after I list them…you can tell me if my issues are valid. My father was a brutal man that confused masculinity and power with abuse –mental, verbal and physical. He often entertained himself by pitting my brother against me in some sort of sick gladiator play. My father was a serial philanderer who had women come to our home to openly question and challenge my mother like she did something wrong. My father would often take me to his various girlfriend’s homes under the guise of doing fatherly outings. Then I would be groomed and brainwashed not to say anything. My father’s idea of an outing would be to supply me with quarters to shoot pool or play the jukebox at his local watering hole – I was pretty much raised in a bar. My father pretty much sponged and stole money from my mother up until the age of 34 when he decided to work full-time but when he did work he did not pay rent or buy groceries…his money was his money. My father was a man of extraordinary cruelty, he often exacted that cruelty out on physically abusing my mother. My mom would sometimes have to miss work because of the brutality….keep in mind that she was the sole means of support for 3 children and he did not care. My father would come in the house , cook and eat a steak after we would only have rice for dinner (my mom often not eating at all)….my father would offer us his gravy like we were starving dogs that he felt sorry for….not sorry enough to give up the steak mind you. My father sold my mother’s house after she left his for all the stated reasons – she purchased that house with her inheritance money from her parent’s death. The list goes on but you get the gist….so yeah I do have daddy issues but my sexuality was shaped and founded long before I knew what daddy issues were.

Welcome back Uncle and here’s hoping to healing a broken family.

I’m A Soldier By: KB 10 20 15

Matthew 6: 14 – 15     14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Mark 11:25     25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. "

Ephesians 4:32   Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Matthew 6:15  But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Proverbs 10:12      Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.

Oh, I think we have a few things twisted….it wouldn’t be the first time. I challenge you to look up every possible scripture on forgiveness and tell me where it states to for you to forget….

The majority of the word tells us to forgive but it also takes in mind who we are as sentient beings knowing it is not in our nature to forget…

Why is it that we have come to believe that we should forget? If you break a bone (bond) do you not favor it until your heart and mind get on one accord and you KNOW that your fracture is healed? KNOW being the operative word….you know when the limb begins to resume “normal” functioning and strength.

I say this because people of color have been taught to forgive and forget as a way to become complicit in their own demise. Forgive and forget the atrocities because we were taught that our anger was against what God wanted and we dare not offend God….

Now don’t get me wrong…hatred for my fellow man is totally out of line. I do not harbor hate or ill will for anyone but I won’t forget either. If I forget then I give permission to my own harm. The word does not render you an ill-equipped amnesiac to blindly follow whoever has the ability to speak the words that appeal to you….the word prepares you to be a mentally and emotionally armed soldier of/for social justice.

How ya livin’?  

Loving You……….. By : KB 10.15.15

It’s not you, it’s me……….oh how we hate that detachment line.  Please allow me to elucidate, illuminate and pontificate (sorry I don’t know it I was possessed by Don King, Jesse Jackson or Johnny Cochran)  ….let me  explain the reality of that and the flip version “it’s not me it’s you”

People we have to stop looking at those lines as a negative. I’ve heard both and in my immaturity I would often get angry or depressed at the prospects of what next or I’ve been dumped….but then I learned to put all that bull---t and baggage in perspective.

It’s not me, it’s you” : To this I say thank you….I may have needed help to see that we are incompatible and my stubborn pride is keeping me locked in something that is toxic and will eventually kill me.

To this I say thank you because I failed to see some character defects in me that made someone so wrong for me become appealing. 

To this I say thank you because I have to examine all the ways that I failed to love and nurture myself.

Reality : you can put your left shoe on you right foot and walk but you will never be comfortable and you will never work the “shoe” to its fullest potential.

“it’s not you, it’s me”

Absolutely it’s me. I’ve learned to stop trying to make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

Absolutely it’s me. I’ve learned not to prolong or feed into dysfunction.

Absolutely it’s me. I know my purpose and power tripping, mental castration, life draining negativity and verbal abuse are not foundation building materials.

Absolutely it’s me…purpose and determination comes in knowing that love is reciprocal; it ebbs and flows and you must know when to lead and when to follow.

Absolutely it’s me….purpose comes when you refuse to accept rudeness for strength and power.

Absolutely it’s me….when you learn to recognize that someone who attempts to control resources is abusive….(give me my keys, I make more money so I get to say how it’s spent, get out of my car…sound familiar?)

Fall in love with you!!!!

How ya livin'?

Journey Back To Me……. BY:KB 10.13.15

Sometimes in life you just have to learn things the hard way……both my grandma and my parents used to constantly tell me “A hard head makes for a soft ass.”  The older I get the more and more this becomes true…..I get hung up on my chronological status and assume that people know things, should know things , I know more than I know or I assume things and then justify my actions all the while knowing that what I am saying or doing is going to plant its foot firmly in my a**.

This has been abundantly clear in the majority of my “situationships”, not relationships, mind you……I say situationships because I have come to realize that I am working on all cylinders desperately trying not to reenact the dysfunction of my parents dynamics and past missteps thereby creating my own funky pattern of repetition.  The real trouble is that I usually connect with someone who is doing the exact same thing but is better at disguising the behavior. When I come out of the newness and the euphoria and realize that I’m in the pattern I usually over correct and the person that I’ve attached myself to realizes that that they have also been exposed….resulting in epic implosion.

I’ve taken some time to learning me and what I truly need and want in life….not saying I won’t stumble from time to time but I’ll bet my last dollar that you won’t find me in a “situationship” settling and compromising with nothing in the way of reciprocity.

Are you stuck in a pattern of behavior?  Do you know yourself well enough to break the dysfunctional behavior? Are you willing to do the self work? It can be an arduous task.....may I suggest you take a look at the AA/NA step 4.......don't kid yourself baby, we're all in recovery from something!

How ya livin'?

Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down…………. BY: KB 10 9 15

The title is a line taken from an old hip hop song by Brand Nubian….it seems to befit my topic of conversation this morning….indulge me if you will.

My NY state of mind and my proud Black ancestry taught me how to deal with racism. Yeah, there are a few select individuals that push for the well-deserved old school, hella –gully, NY ass whoopin’ but when you dole it out you’ve essentially given the racist more ammo and possibly opened yourself up to criminal charges. 

Let me get to the point of my title choice and then tie it in with my opening statement and hopefully school you on a few things. There are so many of us that get all geared up and go into war ill-equipped to deal with an entity that holds a position of power; hence the title. There are too many people in the battle driven by passion. You cannot fight every battle. Not that passion is a bad thing but it must be guided (let’s just say that the passionate people are infantry) There must be military intelligence to understand the enemy and to develop a strategy to deal with them…let your brain be the Commanding Officer. The only effective way to deal with a racist is to kill them with intellect (racism is rooted in ignorance and irrational fear)

Now here is what is really funny….think about all the old black and white movies on celluloid. The majority of racial films tended to depict people of color as either sassy or ignorant; totally antagonistic to the “power” which caused them great distress. A stereotype perpetuated to present day. What a beautiful tool to utilize; the racist power structure gave away their position! Indifference and apathy toward them irritates them (because not only do they we should care about them and all their privilege… they are driven by their narcissism.)  Are you starting to see the movie history in a modern day context? Let your intellect be the Nemesis to Narcissus.

We’ll stop feeding their cause when we get out “ish” together. This means working as a collective and cohesive unit – we may not agree on everything but the majority of cultures of color are rooted in collective thinking and a cooperative effort for advancement…so why have we abandoned this thinking?

Stop raging and bloodying your knuckles and start using your intellect…..in the words of Parliament Funkadelic  “free your mind and your ass will follow”

How ya livin’ ?

What Did You Call Me?!!!! BY: KB 10 8 15

I’m tired of hearing cliché’s and other subtle delusions to justify “craptacular” rude, inconsiderate and just flat out selfish behaviors.

I saw this week memes  - hurt people hurt people…yeah well that may be true but when do we stop allowing the hurt? When do we redirect the person to get help, not yell at them and try to micromanage their lives for them (if that’s the case then you need to look at why are you friends with kids); and when do we determine that we love them enough to leave them the hell alone because we love to maintain our health and emotional well-being? At what point do we stop playing victims and embracing the fact that we are volunteers? I’ll tell you when!  We gain insight into our irrational thinking the moment that we realize that our own lives have become unmanageable. That’s right good ol’ Step 1 (you don’t have to be an addict to work the Steps….we are ALL in recovery from something.)

Many of us are raging dry drunks…Dry drunk is a slang expression infamously known in the sober community. It describes a person who no longer drinks or abuses drugs, but continues to behave in dysfunctional ways.  Poor me….what about me?....It’s really not all about you Boo! When those questions come out of your mouth you’re seeking to have some kind of emotional need met and you’re looking to someone to rescue you….however it is all about you in that you need to get back to the Steps

Our irrational responses to certain situations are a direct result of not addressing character defects and revisiting old scenarios and playing them out with new personnel. We’re using beta-max and laser disks coping skills in a Blu-ray world. Our emotional mixed tapes are trying to compete with our mp 3 present.

I read this in one of my devotionals this morning:

I had been driving for almost half an hour when my daughter suddenly wailed from the backseat. When I asked, “What happened?” she said her brother had grabbed her arm. He claimed he had grabbed her arm because she had pinched him. She said she pinched him because he had said something mean.

Unfortunately, this pattern, which is common between children, can show up in adult relationships too. One person offends another, and the hurt person shoots back a verbal blow. The original offender retaliates with another insult. Before long, anger and cruel words have damaged the relationship.

The Bible says that “the words of the reckless pierce like swords,” and that “a harsh word stirs up anger” but “a gentle answer turns away wrath” (Prov. 12:18; 15:1). And sometimes not answering at all is the best way to deal with mean or cruel words or comments.

Before Jesus’ crucifixion, the religious authorities tried to provoke Him with their words (Matt. 27:41-43). Yet, “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate . . . . Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23).

Jesus’ example and the Spirit’s help offer us a way to respond to people who offend us. Trusting the Lord, we don’t need to use words as weapons.

When we trust the Lord, we don't need to use words as weapons.  We don’t have to have over the top emotional responses. We learn to tame our fears and temper our words

Where are you unmanageable?

How ya livin’?

Lonely Is A F’d Up Tour Guide BY: KB October 1, 2015

Now, as some of you may know I am big on self-examination and personal inventory for alteration; with that being said let me share some personal observations regarding my life….

I have allowed lonely to take me into some “areas” where I should not be. I struggle with the demarcation of alone and lonely; let re reiterate lonely has taken me to some very grueling and emotionally desolate places. Lonely has placed me in relationship where I feel bad about myself and it these relationships I’ve learned that lonely has garage level depths.  Lonely has often given me the “brilliance of a mad scientist…coming up with ideas and projects that can never be completed because the muse was taken at gunpoint and held hostage by lonely.  Lonely has provided me with some epic craptacular hairstyles…note to self: I don’t care how good your flexibility is and you mirrors are,  you cannot effectively cut the back of your own head!

I have not completely developed a way to ignore the lonely and be content with her wiser sister alone but, l have learned to subdue lonely and not immediately act on her prompts.

Check Your Privilege October 1, 2015

I just witnessed a very subtle act of bigotry (I can’t say racism but I’m sure it played a part in what went down), disrespect and lack of human decency.

I’m the 3^rd person in line at the supermarket, there’s a white dude in front of me and before him there’s a homeless black man in line. The black man was buying  (1) doughnut. He swipes his EBT card it was declined. The cashier, another man, who appeared to be Asian began heaving sigh and rolling his eyes for the benefit of the white dude. The homeless man tries his EBT card again and again it was declined. So the cashier announces 79 cents and again began giving the side eye to the white dude and begins to look exasperated. The homeless man is digging through his pockets and comes up with 50 cents; the man asked the white guy for a quarter and the man says he hasn’t got it. Finally, I can’t stand looking at what is unfolding and I told the man I’d pay for his doughnut. He thanked me and then went to the ATM to see why his card wasn’t working.

The white dude that was in line paid for his flavored water and then got 60 bucks cash back….he couldn’t spare a quarter mind you!

The cashier…took the homeless guy’s 50 cents but he charged me for the full 79 cents for the doughnut.

Ism’s and privilege are so pervasive that people don’t give it a second thought and everyone suffers in the exchange

Dream Big By: KB 9 18 15

I was reminded to dream big….I was talking to a friend who was going through a very personal struggle and she shared that she has her good days and her bad days. Our entire conversation was back and forth about the trials and the goodness and mercy of God.

After our conversation I flashed on how I allowed my trials to derail my dreams and how I’ve consistently lived in the spaces between the “hiccups.” I somehow managed to think about Genesis, chapter 41 where Joseph was interpreting the dreams of Pharaoh. In all the exchanges Joseph knew the matter was entirely in the hands of God. God had a purpose for the dream, a purpose for the timing, a purpose for any and all delays.

Joseph was one of many examples of men who seemed to have all the gifts and talents for leadership, but God developed the character and talents over many years. Gifts and talents may be impressive and immediate, but character is what God looks for and always takes time to develop.

Are you working and moving within your calling? Do you trust God’s timing? Are you staying focused? Are you continuously working toward the prize?

How ya livin’?

Your self-worth will impact your worthiness By: KB 9.10.15

I remember a while back  having a conversation with a friend who was rather butt hurt over a failed relationship And in their anger the person said “that’s what I get for trying to make a ho a housewife.”  Needless to say I was floored by the comment. The statement brought up a myriad of questions for me; the first thought was: why would you call someone that you claimed to have feelings for a ho? I then progressed to why would you even consider “wifing” someone who caused you to doubt their fidelity? After all that I finally graduated to what insecurities did you present to put you in such a position? (trust me there had to be a payoff)

I had to take time to collect myself before I spoke to my friend because the individual was in such a dark, angry place but, because I love my friend and I too have been to the place that they were now in, I finally got around to asking the questions that are a cause for personal pause.

The first thing I said was a quote that many of us use but ignore the message as personal advice….the quote is by Maya Angelou “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them!”  Don’t ever be fooled when people by people TELLING you who they are because self-perception is often deceitful. Actions will reveal character. With that being said I asked my friend to think about the first “red flag” and sure enough something was revealed during the courtship. I then got my friend to start talking about what made them overlook the flag and why they were so invested in the situation and the bottom line was they tended to define themselves by relationship and connection.  Come to find out, my friend had no sense of self-worth and they were willing to settle for a feeling rather than the entirety of a relationship. I had to go to my Bible to share a few things that I used to get me through some craziness in my life when I was in the same emotional state –

Song of Solomon 4:7    You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.

Psalm 139:13-14  For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Jeremiah 29:11      For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Ephesians 2:10      For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Does any of this resonate with you at any point in your life? Where are you now?  I shared with my friend that I still get caught up and mess up along the way but I am a bit quicker to cut things off that go in contradiction to who God says I am and attempts to alienate me from whose I am.

How ya livin’ ?

Right Vision BY: KB 9.9.15

Given the story on the Kentucky clerk and her steadfast refusal to issue wedding licenses after the Supreme Court ruling, I feel I must help shed some light on a few misconceptions about Christianity and homosexuality…….please allow me to introduce you to a couple of books that may help those of you who are struggling and those of you who are trapped in a prison of shame and self-loathing based on your religious instructions over the years. The first is: What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality by Daniel A. Helminiak, Ph.D. and the second, Where The Edge Gathers: Building A Community Of Radical Inclusion by Yvette A. Flunder. Both books will help to unravel the misconceptions of faith.

I, however, must add my two cents as only I can and have been known to do! The church has become a house divided full of “saints” and “ain’ts.” I happily identify with the aint’s. So please allow me to elaborate on the two classifications.

The lady in Kentucky would be a saint. This woman is engaged in the practice of literal interpretation of the Bible; a dangerous practice for so many reasons. People who engage in such a practice are more pulled up and uptight than Steve Urkel’s pants. They have assumed a position of the definitive authority and piety and have forgotten that it is by grace that we are saved…works are a byproduct of the grace and the works would not be works of exclusion. There is no hatred in the acts of God…don’t get it twisted the work is constant and we war against our SELFISH desires…I guess the good lady in Kentucky forgot that Romans 7 was written for us all.

The aint’s are the people who know that there is a constant battle to stay in the fold. The ain’ts are full aware of their ADOS - Attention Deficit Ooooo Shiny…disorder. The ain’t know that they are full of insecurities, faults and frailties and we’re constantly leaning on God and our faith to sustain us.

We have to divorce any religion that preaches hate, intolerance and exclusion….go back to your Bible and understand that it is impossible for man to adhere to the strict letter of the Law………..read Galatians 5, read Romans 7 and 8, read Hebrews 2; read it with the understanding that we are not independent operators that we work with and in Christ and Christ is not about exclusion.

Stop justifying your insanity with “love the sinner hate the sin”…..you don’t get to judge…if you love the sinner you would treat him/her as Christ  would and if they are wrong in their actions they will see Christ in yours….

How Ya livin’?!

A Simple Matter of Black and White By: KB 9.6.15

The term Black Power now seems to be considered some type of political terrorist threat. It is viewed as an affront. I’m challenging people, all people, to change their perceptions and cast off their entitlements, anger and whatever baggage or mental slave chains that have you bound , to grasp the concept.

Black Power, as it was taught to me, is a call for African Americans to reclaim their history, their dignity and their voice which they have been stripped of the moment they were ripped from their country’s womb. 

Black Power is a call to shed the mental constructs of colonialism to look to the things that has sustained a culture greater and longer than the 453 years of mental, emotional and physical imprisonment.

Black Power is a call to tear down the invisible fences and borders that this country has learned to disguise. 

Black Power is a call for economic empowerment and fiduciary responsibility.

Black Power is the Call to learn that Africa is the cornerstone of mankind and that our existence as a people, all people, was birthed from the continent.

White Power however is a call of fear…..fear that the male, free, white and 21 is somehow losing a grip on his ability to systematically deny rights and privilege to those people perceived as a threat.

White Power comes from a place of hatred and control. 

White Power is the slave Master picking a choosing slaves on the auction block; a position of power and authority that dictate who will be field hands and who will be allowed in the house.

White Power is the overseer who says who will be punished and how harshly the measure.

White Power is the slave Master that edits and controls what will be learned and manipulates the lessons to serve his interest.

White Power is the mistress (industry) that calls the “buck” to the house to be service and then cries that they have somehow been taken advantage of.

Funny thing is, we as a civilization can embrace and preach Bible truths from Africa…make epic movies about it and yet deny the fact that the people of color ever existed! The same Bible that was being taught to the slave as a standard of conduct was the very same story that was being manipulated and it was assumed that the slave never saw the hypocrisy of the lessons … Matthew 6: 23-24  …23"But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! 24"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.

Marinate on that fact this Sunday as you sing your hymns.

How ya livin’ ?!

F The Police (Don't get mad...read it!!!!) By: KB 9.1.15

REAL TALK from KB: If I see one more pro cop post I’m going to lose my mind….no offense to all of you who support them but none of my interactions with cops in uniform have been positive….starting from my teens in NY. I’ve noticed that the majority of people who have been posting the pics are my Caucasian friends…..so let me share a few things to help you understand why there is no appreciation on my part.

Cops are trained and programmed to racially profile plain and simple. Blacks and Mexican are disproportionately stopped and detained in their everyday lives; hence the phrase ________ while Black.

As a teen I was riding my friends bike, I was cat called by a tow truck driver who told me to “come here”. I’m thinking this fool is a perv until the cops roll up on me. The tow truck driver claimed I’m riding a bike stolen out of his garage…(all this from a slight glance from a moving truck several feet away.) I explain to the cop I’m on a friend’s bike….but the tow truck driver is going on and on about “you people” so me and the bike are swooped up until my friend can show up with the documentation for the bike. I was presumed guilty because this man said so. No one stopped to ask my parents a damn thing…no apology from the cop or the truck driver in the inappropriate way he approached the situation.

Fast forward a few years in my early 20’s in Cali….I’m in the DMV parking lot. PARKED! I’m sitting in the car waiting to take my road test. I look up and there are cops with lights flashing, asking how and why’s about the car. Their reason for the funky treatment? The registration sticker is upside down.

My sister is involved in a hit and run with my mother in the car. Someone sees the incident and my sister following the driver to get the insurance information. It gets reported that there’s a high speed chase and my sister is the aggressor. The teenage girl (who is Caucasian is the person that hit and took off) The cops question my mother and sister until they see the damage done to the car and the little girl nervously talked too much and told on herself.

My mother lives in a gated community and I was waiting outside the gate because she wasn’t home yet. I had a dog in my car and I let him out to go take care of his business….a couple drives past and see me sitting in my PARKED car and I could see them periodically peek out of their blinds….15 minutes later the cops roll up on me. They ran my mother’s address to confirm my story.

I’ve been talked to like I was the devil’s own when I asked why I was being detained (which is my right mind you).

I was trained to do retail asset protections and I found myself following the presumed “unwritten” mind you, guidelines of racial profiling and then was taught not to mention race in reporting…..I found myself buying into a group mindset oh a let me mention that cops are disrespectful to asset protections folks as well because they are not a “real” part of the “brotherhood” …hood (as in KKK)  being the operative word…

So pardon me when I say what NWA was bold enough to proclaim on wax F____ THE POLICE! They’re often the people escalating the problem….ask any brother or sister that has ever been victimized or brutalized because of they dared to have melanin or know their rights.

To all my Caucasian friends posting – you can keep telling yourselves that people are locked up because they must have deserved it but you know that’s not always true….people are often framed and evidence is concocted and or lost…. A disingenuous and scripted "I’m sorry" and a check  is supposed to make up for 20 and 30 years of life and trauma from being in prison Reuben “Hurricane” Carter ring a bell? (movie was made about it.)

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/04/07/1376122/-Three-black-men-convicted-as-teens-exonerated-released-in-Ohio-after-serving-20-years-in-prison#

http://crimeblog.dallasnews.com/2014/12/dallas-man-who-served-31-years-in-prison-for-a-rape-he-didnt-commit-finally-declared-innocent.html/

http://abcnews.go.com/US/men-walk-free-40-years-prison-crime-commit/story?id=27095382

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/20/nyregion/5-exonerated-in-central-park-jogger-case-are-to-settle-suit-for-40-million.html?_r=0

 I know not all cops are bad cops but I haven’t met any good ones while in uniform and you have never had to be defendant about your very existence 24/7 . We are constantly asking don’t brutalize or kill us and most of America continues to ask why we're asking.....

Self-Made Leads To Self Destruction BY: KB 8.26.15

We’re ALL broken, fractured and chipped in one way or another………every last one of us. I am deathly afraid of the folks who delude themselves into believing they have it all together or that they are self-made.  Believe it or not it speaks volumes to how they’re going to interact with you. I’m not saying this is a quick read but it’s taken me most of my adult years to learn this lesson.

The self –made individual believes that they have gotten to their position without the help of God (Higher Power). The self-made person approaches life from a position of privilege and entitlement; they’re supposed to have and their needs are the only needs that matter.

Psalm 1: 1- 2     1 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers! 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night

Psalm 5:9     Not a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with malice. Their throat is an open grave; with their tongues they tell lies.

Joshua 1:8     Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

These people surround themselves with two types of people. The first being type of friend is the like minded; which in turn drives a cut-throat competition. Imagine a pre-school; toddlers driven by the word “mine” The second type of friend is the person they see as the less fortunate. The less fortunate feeds the ego..

Philippians 2:3      Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

James 3:14-16       But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

2 Timothy 3:1-5       But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

Are you this person? How ya livin’?

REAL TALK from KB: Duplicity - noun, plural duplicities for 2, 3.

REAL TALK from KB: Duplicity -  noun, plural duplicities for 2, 3.

1    

      1.    deceitfulness in speech or conduct, as by speaking or acting in two different ways to different people concerning the same matter; double-dealing.

Synonyms: deceit, deception, dissimulation, fraud, guile, hypocrisy, trickery.

Antonyms: candidness, directness, honesty, straightforwardness.

2. an act or instance of such deceitfulness.

3.Law. the act or fact of including two or more offenses in one count, or

charge, as part of an indictment, thus violating the requirement that each count contain only a single offense.

4. the state or quality of having two elements or parts; being twofold or double.

Are you guilty of it? Think you aren’t? Let me ask this one simple question: How many of you turn a blind eye …living under the veil of “it’s not my business”? or if that doesn't  apply How many times have you remained silent telling yourself “it’s not my problem”?

The most certain test by which we judge whether a country is really free is the amount of security enjoyed by minorities.  John Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton, The History of Freedom in Antiquity (1877)

Tolstoy, the Russian writer, said in War and Peace: “I cannot conceive of a man not being free unless he is dead.” While this statement sounds a bit exaggerated, it gets at a basic truth. What Tolstoy is saying in substance is that the absence of freedom is the presence of death. Any nation or government that deprives an individual of freedom is in that moment committing an act of moral and spiritual murder. Any individual who is not concerned about his freedom commits an act of moral and spiritual suicide. Martin Luther King, Jr., Address at the Fiftieth Annual NAACP Convention, 17 July 1959, New York.

How ya livin'?

Cultural Appropriation BY:KB 8.15.15

Not too long ago a youngster, Zendaya Coleman, took a few entertainment news commentators to task about their comments on her desire to wear her hair in faux locs to an awards ceremony. The young actress was most recently quoted as saying:

"You can go about it as cultural appreciation or cultural appropriation," Coleman explained. "You have to be very careful. Some things are really sacred and important to other cultures, so you have to be aware, politically, about those things before you just adopt them."

The performer added that the key to appreciating a culture is to understand the history behind it. 

"I’m someone who feels uncomfortable with things unless I know [about them]," she told Nylon. "I’m not going to try something unless I’ve taken the time and effort to learn about it. I just think with the Internet and the resources we have, you should do a little research."

I commend her desire to “represent” so to speak but I’m going to have to throw a penalty flag on the whole situation…..sprinkle a little salt if you will. It’s all cultural appropriation! Just because you like something does not mean you should try it….attach whatever “shaming” label you want to what I’m saying but it is what it is……

Think a few years back when the rap game and the hip-hop culture made its way to the suburbs. Mainstream society then coined the phrase “wigger”. For those of you not in the know the term means white nigger……..meaning that there is no place, rhyme or reason for a nice white kid in the burbs to adopt such a style.  First we had Eminem, a white boy with street cred….but once people discovered the 8 Mile section was a poor section of Detroit and that he really associated with Blacks he quickly became the “white trash” factor and was relegated to  an “overseers” position on the profit plantation. Then we have Tatum Channing and Justin Bieber musical and theatrical colonizers manipulated by a hierarchy that makes the once deemed “white nigger” culture acceptable as well as once again profitable.

I’m not going to just single out the mainstream…I’m also going to address people of color. We have been brainwashed. We have neglected our cultures, our people and our history far too long. We have deluded ourselves into embracing a standard of culture and beauty that has NEVER made provision for us as anything other than labor or entertainment. We spend billions of hard earned money on fake hair and hair straightening products. We’re walking around with blond hair and blue contact lenses. We’re spending grand theft money on slimming agents and vilifying our thick hipped, full lipped , darker sisters. We have adopted a Eurocentric “mammy” mindset about our own thereby creating a cultural divide within our own culture….We have embrace a new millennium mulatto, quadroon and octoroon standard of measure

Young Ms. Coleman was correct in saying to learn about the culture that you’re “borrowing” from because if more people took the time to learn about the thing that they’re appropriating they would learn that their portrayals are often no more that a modern day minstrel show. They have “borrowed” parts of a culture and reduced it to a caricature presented on a platform of stereotypes…excluding the  burnt cork, white gloves and banjos.

I am of African, Irish and Native ancestry, all of which are an oppressed people. All of which have been set against one another, here, on this soil, that we like to delude ourselves into  believing, is this great melting pot.  I have a rich supply of melanin, the world sees Black and I identify as such but I also do not neglect any of my other ancestry. I will no longer be forced to choose and accept that one thing is above or better than the other. I have no excuse for allow someone (something) to manipulate my history and culture. My history, in factual information, is now available to me….

In times like these I often quote a line from a George Clinton, Parliament (oh the irony in the name Parliament) song “free your mind and your a** will follow”

How ya livin’?

STOP IT!!!! Just STOP!!!! BY: KB © 8.12.15

Ok folks, I’m about to go all Andy Rooney on you: I realize there are a bunch of you who don’t even know who I’m talking about but that’s a rant for another day.

First, let me say this….PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE stop posting pictures of money and promising that my blessings are on the way if I share the pic. I am insulted by these pictures…I AM TRULY BLESSED EACH AND EVERY DAY I WAKE UP!!!!

Keep it real, the people who are clamoring for more wealth are most likely looking for more material things. Truth be told, the  reason the majority of people who are crying for more money is because they are irresponsible with what they have.

Scripture says – Matthew 26:11 "For you always have the poor with you; but you do not always have Me.”  Then the word goes on to ask (paraphrase) – what are WE doing to show the love of God?

Now if you can’t get into the word – hear me loud and clear with a little Puff and Biggie – “more money more problems”

Second, Stop with all the life-style changes, give away your money for quick fixes madness. The only people advancing are the people hyping and hawking the bull----. I just saw posts about cleanses and teas. Did it ever occur to anyone that such harsh treatments flush the body of the things that it needs to work properly? Yes, you will lose weight but the loss is temporary and most of you become malnourished as a result of the insanity. You are not a chitterling!!!! Many of you don’t change what you eat or exercise…..how does that work? Cancer made me really think and work on what I ingest; I still eat what I like but just not in the mass quantities. I have a fitness band to insure that I am more active during the week.

I know people who have paid grand theft money for compression garments to constrict their stomach and also restrict their breathing …maybe the lack of oxygen explains the level of silliness.

I know people who have had elective surgery when what they really needed to do was fix their egos and insecurities….I’m not knocking surgery. I had to have reconstructive surgery, FOR MEDICAL REASONS ….I am anti surgery because you don’t feel good about yourself…..people should have to do so many hours of therapy prior to elective procedures because they are going to be the same insecure, hot messes with bigger breasts, liposuction, butt, cheek, chin and pectoral implants.

I’m just sayin’…..

Miseducation of KB BY:KB 8.5.15

I know I have been guilty of this…….I guess it’s my own internalized racism. 

My sister and I are often laughing at my mom regarding the messages she has provided over the years. We call my mom the Black bourgeoisie (bougie) who still institutes her own from of the paper bag test. I often refer to my mother as Julia (Black TV nurse played by Diahann Carroll) because we always had to be the first “Negroes” in our neighborhood (which also meant a lot of fighting….I guess this place a big factor in my definitive thoughts on right, wrong and racism.

But, I digress; my racism comes into play when I hear of black kids being accepted into Ivy League Universities.  http://money.cnn.com/2015/04/04/pf/college/immigrant-accepted-all-ivy-league-schools-harold-ekeh/

I tend to think of them as the exception rather than the rule. My SH—TUFF!

I have been an honors student for most of my academic endeavors…forget my freshman year of college – I’d just moved to Cali and I didn’t give a damn about too much other than leaving my beloved hometown. But, again, I digress; I had to check myself and my thinking……..I have received and accepted the color line for so long that I truly believed that certain schools weren’t for Blacks….Now, I’m not delusional, I know this young man WILL have to face some challenges because his very presence will challenge the status quo….but hats off to the brother and I hope he will challenge the status quo….

Without education, you are not going anywhere in this world.   Malcolm X

EDUCATION is the medium by which a people are prepared for the creation of their own particular civilization, and the advancement and glory of their own race. Marcus Garvey, The Philosophy and Opinions of Marcus Garvey

Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today. Malcolm X

This Land Is Your Land….This Land Is My Land by: KB 8.4.15

REAL TALK from KB: I saw a commercial this morning…some kids in the commercial were saying the pledge of allegiance. I flashed on my own child hood and thought to myself about how I was subtly brainwashed.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America; ok that part is not so bad.

And to the republic for which it stands….ok so now I’m starting to waiver… A republic (from Latin: res publica) is a form of government or country in which power resides in elected individuals representing the citizen body and government leaders exercise power according to the rule of law. Seriously, who represents me when everyone seems to out for self or lobbying and catering to special interest groups? Why are Blacks hated and vilified all over the U.S? …and you would think that such an elite group of powerful minds would come up with another word besides “nigger” after all they had since 1865 to come up with something.

One nation under God…ok, now I’m not even going to stand around and participate in such blasphemy…Sunday morning between 10 and 11 are the most segregated hours in America. I once heard of a Pastor saying that your church should look like a busy day in a supermarket….but that is NOT the case. I moved from segregated NY to ultra-segregated, ultra-conservative Central Valley Calif………I grew strong and bold hearing the N word….nigger is the steel in my spine, the fire in my eye and need be the power behind my fists!

Indivisible -  I refuse to drink this Kool Aid…..we are a people divided and we, every last one of us are wrapped in cause. Blacks want equality and white won’t acknowledge and release their privilege as if a balance would somehow be the end of the world…..keep it real it would be the end of their world…no matter how “enlightened” or well-meaning you may be…until you are willing to release what you KNOW you have there will be some level of dissent.

With liberty and justice for all………..ok, really?!!! Now this just got down right comical….Back in the day Black people were lynched just for being Black with priors of being Black. Now, since there’s justice for all we’re being “lynched” for fitting the profile, walking while black, driving while black and routine traffic stops….

I guess I’m now supposed to sing and do a full on minstrel show to My Country tis of thee?

We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: "For Whites Only."  We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. - MLK

How ya livin’ ? 

How ya livin’ ?! By: KB 8.3.15

I’ve been giving things a lot of thought so please don’t think of this as a random and obscure post.

I’ve read many a story about rising rents, the drought, animal cruelty, racism, bigotry, homophobia, etc… You name it I read it and the bottom line is ALL of these stories are for naught…….yup, you read that right. The stories don’t mean a damn thing until we learn to value human life and how to treat one another. Seriously, think about it, the majority of these situations would be resolved if we learn to embrace the sanctity of life!

Now, there are some people who will dispute and refute the validity of the Bible until they themselves are toes up….but even a blind man can see that we’ve got something wrong in our thinking and conduct.

Psalms 133:1     Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brothers to dwell together in unity!

Malachi 2:10     "Do we not all have one father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously each against his brother so as to profane the covenant of our fathers?

Galatians 5:22-23     But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Proverbs 3:3     Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart.

Romans 12:10     Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;

Psalm 24:1      A Psalm of David. The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein,

Genesis 1:28      And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

I’m not telling you that you have to believe what and how I believe, I’m not that narrow minded; but, what I am saying is that there are some fundamental truths in what I quoted. Why is it that we’ll spend grand theft money on self-help and self-improvement books and seminars when the ability and the power to change is in what you accept as a truth….and the real truth is that we are so fragile and damaged that we have allowed a certain amount of exclusion and attrition to become acceptable. We are so damaged that we’ll spend countless hours and energy focusing on the external factors when the real work has to be done internally. I’m challenging folks to STOP being a dressed up mess. I’m challenging people to embrace a Higher Power to reach a higher calling.

How ya livin’?

Preaching exclusion – how does that work?

REAL TALK from KB: I just read something by a good "Christian" that makes me think more and more that the term is an oxymoron.....sad thing is most good Christians are not in a place to hear that about themselves..not saying that I have a stellar faith walk but I'm not hiding behind the word to support a personal agenda.....the person stated something to effect of we shouldn't tax hard working folks to support those who refuse to work.

The good Christian didn’t see the hidden bias and hinted bigotry in their proclamation. There is also an implied but not blatant racism in the statement. The good Christian failed to see the lack of compassion and empathy in their statement. Thinking only of dollars rather that what their fellowman is experiencing. What the good Christian didn’t acknowledge is a system in place that keeps people locked in a cycle of poverty.

There are very few people who just refuse to work….if people could just get up and get jobs many more people would be working….but that person is mad about that too……..Obama created jobs and unemployment is at its lowest number in many years…but people are mad that they have to kick in for healthcare. A universal precaution and should be right for the betterment of all.

There are people who have made stupid mistakes and poor choices that landed them in jail for a period of time but now they are locked in a system that is content on keeping them a prisoner.

It often strikes me as funny how people tend to forget their own failures but are quick to club you with their success. To these good Christians I say find a different name to call yourselves something different , possibly call yourselves IANS, because there is no CHRIST in what you preach, teach or demonstrate.

Don’t confuse a class system with a  caste system and call it “traditionalism” … when it’s really colonialism and castigation

How ya livin’?

The Cold Hard Truth BY: KB 8.1.15

I've been giving some thought to the Cecil the lion vs. Black lives matter....to keep it real raw and 100 .....the reason that more people are pissed off about Cecil is that we as Blacks have been preconditioned and predisposed to devalue our own lives. We are constantly, from the time we're little, told we aren't good enough or pushed to the breaking point being told by well meaning parents that we have to be twice as good and work twice as hard (newsflash) it's still the same message!