Purging - Out with the bad...In with the good By: KB © 8.4.14

REAL TALK from KB: ca·thar·sis  noun \kə-ˈthär-səs\

: the act or process of releasing a strong emotion (such as pity or fear) especially by expressing it in an art form

1:  purgation

2             a :  purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art

b :  a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension

3:  elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

I have been debating over posting this but I do believe it’s time. I've been processing my childhood and this piece goes out to anyone who had an alcoholic parent.

My dad was a physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic. He’d beat anyone who he believed back talked, violated his rules or dared to challenge his position. My mom endured some serious abuse while trying to protect her children; he also went after her as an excuse to get out of the house. (I’ll get back to that in a minute)  I was next on the list of abuse victims because I don’t have the spirit of timidity when it comes to fair play and justice. I call things out and let the chips fall where they may. Needless to say I was on the receiving end of some serious verbal abuse and harsh discipline but I digress what I was leading to was my father’s excuse to “get out”…

The man was a serial philanderer…for as long as I can remember, I can remember things back to about age two,  my father has had a side chick. I was often the “trophy” kid that he took for a ride along when he went to go meet his “side-piece.” I hadn't given a lot of thought to all the ramifications of all this until recently.

Can you imagine being a kid and seeing your father with someone other than your mother knowing they are still married and in the house?

Can you imagine the craziness in getting in trouble for mentioning the person not knowing that she is supposed to be a secret from the person who cares for and nurtures you?

Can you imagine the person coming to your home to address your mother like she has rights and privilege in the home?

The issue became very real to me when I was in 6th or 7th grade. I noticed this kid staring at me; not a normal stare I mean the kind of stare that bores right through you. I’d finally got fed up and asked him in my best NY-ese “what he was staring at?” He asked if I was ___________ (my father’s full name) kid.  I knew my father was a lo-pro mofo but I couldn't imagine him hanging out with junior high school kids…but it turns out he was in a round-about way. He was seeing the kids mother and the boy knew all about me and my siblings.

What’s my point in posting this? It’s time to release ALL of the things that weigh me down…it’s my own personal exorcism – banishing the things that haunt and hinder.