Good Morning good people! I am beyond tired; I woke up
several time during the night, normal for me, but, I did not get a fit sleep so
I’m exhausted.
Today I’m going to break from my normal routine of quoting
authors and throw out some candid moments and insight from my life and how it
relates to what I read and write. Yes, you read that right! I’m going to break
my cardinal rule and reveal a little about myself; I do so to demonstrate that
I walk my talk. If you've noticed when I write I always say “we” or “myself
included” to let you know that I’m not just talking, I struggle with the same
situations but I seek to solve them through my faith and I share what I've
learned in the process.
As some of you may know, my past 5 years have been FULL,
when I say full I mean FULL of trials. I was diagnosed with cancer after a
routine exam showed nothing. I've undergone radical surgeries that have left my
body looking like the Bride of Frankenstein. Sexuality notwithstanding I am
still very much a woman and there’s a certain level of natural vanity and
desire to “be normal” attached to my DNA. I've lost a partner of 16 year,
albeit the connection was often contentious, we found a way to regroup and make
it work for a number of years. Fast forward, I attempted to date only to fail
miserably; I can say so without shame, I wasn't ready and I should have
recognized the fact that I wasn't but all of the aforementioned was on my back,
pushing my emotions hard. All of which brings me to this word for today…….LOSS
The way I see it is that I had one of two choices in my “distress”
I could allow it to make me bitter…hell! I was already there and it wasn't
serving me well at all or I could use it to make me better. I have often said
and I will continue to say that MY FAITH IS UNSHAKABLE! Now, I know you’re
asking “why were you bitter if your faith is unshakable?” The answer is simple,
I forgot it was there! I was so focused on what I needed to do, what was going
on, what people were thinking, how could I make them OK with my mess that I
simply forgot to look to God. It’s easy to get distracted when life shows up.
Life is like that one friend you have to entertain all the dang time!!! You’re
having a good time but you are so exhausted and grateful when that person goes
home. I came to the place where I was like Atlas …and since I wasn't working
out Atlas shrugged ß(yes,
that’s a play on a literary title). I had to realize that I wasn't “working out”
spiritually and the weight brought me to my knees; once there I knew what I had
to do. Prayer changes things!
Psalm 34:17-20 ESV When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the
brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the
righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all
his bones; not one of them is broken
2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient
for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all
the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 1:3-5 ESV Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord
Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in
all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any
affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For
as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly
in comfort too.
I made note of something that Robin Roberts said while she
was sharing her cancer battle in the public eye….she said “her mother always
told her to allow God to make her mess her massage.” Man oh man…what a story
arc I've provided for the book of KB.
Just know that God is bigger than whatever presses and
stresses you!
How ya’ livin’?
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