I Didn't Fall I Committed BY: KB 12.18.16

I told you that I’m off on another plain today….I’m all off in my dome and in my feelings and I am writing some of the very best stuff I’ve written in a while.

We have bought into the misconception that love is this rouge uncontrollable thing, that it's something that just falls from the sky like an ACME anvil and it just happens to us; it's not something we control. Even the language we use in describing and defining love implies the instability of love. We say, "I fell in love," as if love is a giant crevasse; imagine just walking along one day and bam! - I fell in love. I couldn't help myself. 

REAL TALK- that ain’t love. Love doesn't just fall from out of nowhere and happen to you. Love is an applied choice and it represents a commitment. 

This may be a bit confusing but try to give this a little extra thought, attraction is uncontrollable and arousal is uncontrollable. But attraction and arousal are not love. They can lead to love, but they are not love. Love is a conscious applied choice.

You must choose to love God; he won't force you to love him (Deuteronomy 30:20). You can thumb your nose at God and go a totally different way; He will continue to bless in order to get your attention. And this same holds true about Earthly relationships: you can choose to love others, but God won't force you to love anyone , but, if you happen to “fall” remember it’s as much about the commitment as it is the connection.

I’m Good BY: KB 11.16.16

Keeping it 100, like I do, let me say that I am sick and tired of folks, not just fundamentalists, I’m also addressing the profoundly ignorant and bigoted assuming that homosexuality is a choice! Now, please excuse the harsh language “profoundly ignorant” but I have to say something because there is so much information available that people choose to ignore. I don’t even have words for people who deny their own children for not living THEIR lives according to a script that the parents wrote.

Then there’s the people who use the term “lifestyle” like I’m in vogue or part of a collection.  I never hear heterosexual coming out stories or heteros being asked “when did you know that you liked the opposite sex? Or When did you choose to be hetero? That to me is asking someone when they choose to be White? I say White because it’s the majority power dynamic in this country…just as heterosexuality is prevalent.

Let’s keep it real that I have made no bones about how I feel about Christian fundamentalists who have gone above and beyond the pale in their damage and destruction of lives. So once again I will address my life and only my life. I cannot and dare not speak for others but I can I say I know of others who share my story.

Let’s address the subject of choice for a second shall we? I choose to be gay like you choose to be straight…meaning it’s just who I am. I am attracted to my same gender. I am very much female. I’m not trying to be a man… hell, I am friends with enough guys to know that they have their own unique set of problems that I can empathize with because most of the women that I have dated have a certain level of expectation for me to carry that certain counter –balance for them. Now I tend to find a bit of humor in the dynamic because many of the guys I know don’t know a damn thing about cars and car repair or any repairs for that matter and I do. My dad couldn’t fix a damn thing. I was curious about things so I paid very close attention to the people who knew how to do the repairs…but I digress. Choice…can I just say I hate that bulls---; who would choose a life of scrutiny by strangers, negative comments and threats of bodily harm because you loving someone made some ignorant person uncomfortable? Think about that for a minute…love making someone uncomfortable. Sounds silly once you read it doesn’t it?

Now let’s discuss the other thing I tend to hear?  You have daddy issues or a man must have done something to you to make you gay?  I can agree to daddy issues…my father was an abusive alcoholic but I had examples of good men in my life so I can pretty much discredit that one. I can say that I knew that I was “different” at the age of 5; my first memory of being attracted to women. I attempted to date but there was no chemistry or real attraction that I had with women. I pretty much stopped faking and trying to please other people in my life in my early 20’s.

Now, last by no means least to the fundamentalists….I’ve grown weary of people quoting Leviticus and people telling me “love the sinner, hate the sin” so I won’t continue defending myself quoting scripture back to you. I’m just going to pray for your change of heart or character as you say, often in great hostility, you’re doing for me and we’ll let God be true…I’m just going to say that I’m ok with who I am and whose I am…it’s the rest of the world that seems to think they know me and have a problem with me and my loved ones.

Consequences & Reprocussions BY: KB 11.8.16

I have been debating on whether or not to write this piece and at some point during my devotions and prayer time the word yes popped into my spirit.

Proverbs 18:21 - Death and life [are] in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

1 Peter 3:10 - For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

James 5:3-8     5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

6 And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:

8 But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

Well what does all these scriptures mean? It means that we need to have a better system of checks and balances for what we say. It means that monitoring the integrity of your word is a necessity. It means that when you speak, especially when you speak of God you need to be quite sure of the message you give.

I am prompted to write this because I recently had the experience of an overshare….that’s when you or someone gives TMI (too much information) in this instance it was me. Someone had asked about my previous relationship and I shared, heck my life is an open book so I had no qualms about sharing the story because it was actually a testimony (that’s why my life is an open book.) Well the person I shared the story with had a judgment for my story and proceeded to speak on what they would have done and what they would or wouldn’t have allowed. My first thought was to GO THERE – I didn’t ask you what you thought, you asked me a question and whatever I shared is past history so hindsight will always be 20/20….but grace prevailed and I held my tongue and simply explained that not all things are for all people to understand and my experiences will never line up with this persons experiences because we are two different people from two different backgrounds.

Now, I could have used the opportunity to share my experiences with God and how He brought me through the story that I had shared with her but she wasn’t interested in what I had to say…she was curious because she wanted to contrast, compare and judge.

 

 It is important to know and recognize spirits; failure to recognize a spirit can lead to some serious consequences

The Real BY: KB 11.5.16

You can’t be gay and a believer   I’ve heard this too many times than I care to mention. I used to get angry and go all “Bruce Banner” but that was before I really embraced what it means to have a relationship with God. I thought I had to impose my thought in power and might…but then I came to live and learn that the Lord is mighty in battle and the battle was not mine.  So, now whenever I hear the gay believer insanity I just say “you’re looking at and talking to both. “

I wait for the old Sodom and Gomorrah verses from the book of Genesis or Leviticus. I then tell them that they are going to believe what they choose to believe but I also ask them to be open enough to read, study ad challenge their faith constructs; noting that I no longer believe the same things about God that I did as a child. My faith grew up alongside my physical development and I continue to exercise my faith in hopes of development and growth

Philippians 2:12 (NIV)

12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-lose/what-does-the-bible-reall_b_990444.html

Now if you’re really opened to learning and understanding you will make note of the fact that a great deal of the hate and fear that is being spewed from the pulpit is a twisted eisegesis. We have accepted a practice of an instant “just add people and stir” theology. We embrace a theology that serves our ignorance. Listening to things taken out of context and historically inaccurate; never questioning

Read 1 Thessalonians 5: 20-21

1 John 4:1

The Bible says to study to show yourself approved…it doesn’t say let someone else study for you and feed you their beliefs…..it’s about developing an individual relationship. Some of us have not learned how to be intimate so we often allow outside forces to obstruct and we begin to embody and live out a false prophecy for our lives.

Guilt and shame are not of God, please be aware of this…if you have internalized it from various life experiences or if someone is trying to give it to you from the pulpit…

KEEPING IT REAL WITH ME BY:KB 10.21.16

It seems like it has been forever since I’ve written anything of substance; you know the kind of writing that makes you pause and do a bit of self-examination…asking “Do I really do that? Or Did they really think they needed to tell me that?” this piece fall under the latter question.

First let me say, I love my family dearly but, yes, there is a but, they get on my last good nerve with the petty things that triggers anger and inane arguments and constant bickering. The real kicker for me is that most of the arguments are usually wrapped in or justified by a vague connection to scripture…like it somehow excuses or justifies the position of judgment. I realize that my verbalizing and writing the statement assumes a position of judgment but I just had to put it out there because I am at an age and stage in my life where merry-go-rounds make me dizzy and nauseous; I’m getting off the ride…say what you will about me!

Now, some of y’all know me…saying tis to say, I’m not a deep and mysterious person. I’m very straight forward maybe to the point of being too blunt at times. The things that garner my wrath are blatant disrespect, bullying, sexism, fundamentalism, racist and bigoted bullshit! It’s just that simple. Please note I will call you out on it and hold you accountable.

Now, I’m getting to the point of my conversation. My family somehow believes that I could not manage to get to the ripe old age of 55 without their advice both solicited and unsolicited. Please note I left my mother’s eye when I was 25, so, 30 years. Now mind you, she left my father when I was 16 because of domestic violence and I lived without her for about 18 months. To this day she is still finding out some of the things I did as a child thanks to loose lipped siblings. My sister left home at age 18 and didn’t return to the state until about age 23 or 24 so we had a period of separation as well. So, they really don’t know the majority of my life’s experiences and I don’t share a lot of them because they are mine and part of my development and lessons to learn. My mom and my sister are relentless in giving advice and at times it just sound like admonishments…and I always find myself thinking they don’t know half the shit I had to wade through to get to where I am today and I’m ok with me…what they do know is that I can and will back them off of me and go on my own for a good long time when I’ve reached my maximum saturation point. They do know that I have the will of a pit bull and at times I have to show them because they seem to be deaf when I try to tell them.

Wrapping this all up…I love both these women dearly but they have to recognize and embrace the fact that I am NOT them and we share the same DNA but not the same take of life experiences and lessons. I’m not going to take a passive position in any parts of my life….

The same way I embrace my blessing is the same way I embrace the consequences for my misbehavior!

OUT LOUD and OUT PROUD BY: KB 10.14.16

I was discussing the subject of homosexuality with someone the other day; as a matter of fact I’ve been having this conversation with a number of people, all of whom have different circumstances and reasons to engage me in the conversation, over the past couple of days. Whatever the reason I welcome the dialogue because it’s an ever evolving conversation that NEEDS to happen.

After a bit of introduction some people knew right out that I identify as “butch lesbian” for those folks who don’t have vision or demand labels; you know like the superfluous warning labels that are supposed to stop or at least slow idiots down…yeah, those labels.

My coming out story is pretty much unremarkable…I didn’t have people turn against me. I wasn’t majorly ostracized, there was no family division, a lot of ignorant comments from time to time but I can hold my own verbally and physically if need be… it was my own mental and emotional division. I was my own enemy.

I had to come to terms with the fact that not only had I received a very thorough brainwashing related to my Blackness and my being female but I was also fighting the fact that I was taught that my loving was going to be the reason that I would not enter into heaven…think about that for a minute. You are taught from a very early age that God is about love…for God so love the world; faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love….. so, here I am loving and now I’m being I’m told I’m going  to hell because of  who I love. I’m hearing all sorts of hateful and bigoted things coming directly from the pulpits. Mind you I’m just coming into my sexuality at the height of the AIDS epidemic. Imagine the pain, hate and shame many people had heaped upon them as they lie dying. Think about all the choir members and choir directors…who church folks were “cool” with as long as they kept their mouths closed to appease. Think about how they passed on in doubt and self-loathing.

Right then and there I knew that I had to represent; I had to be counted in my community because it was so stilted and bigoted. I had to find a Bible preaching and teaching church…not the gospel according to interpretation. I had to find someone who knew that love is love is love! I had to find something or someone who challenge me to read and know this for myself.  I know far too many people who are trying to reconcile their faith with their sexuality…I remember one sister watching my struggle and she put it very clearly to me…in saying that “my sexuality is part of who I am…it’s along for the ride”  after hearing that I just stopped trying to be “Wonder Dyke” with a message for the masses and started being myself, working out my salvation with respect and reverence. I’ve been just me ever since….

I live out loud and out proud for the other folks who were and are like me. I live my life out loud and out proud for the millions of kids who are taught to hate themselves seeing suicide as the only option. I live my life out loud and out proud because the world need to see there’s nothing second rate or second class about me….I have the same wants, needs and have the same dreams. I love my life out loud and out proud because I need the world to know that I am not a stalker, a pedophile or a man hater as depicted by mainstream culture. I live out loud and out proud because I am content to be just me!

Cooley High BY: KB 10.5.16

Some of y’all are going to be upset with me on this one ….but if you’re reading this you already know me well enough to know how I roll. I keep it real, raw and 100%. If you think I’m hard on you just imagine what it’s like to be me and the standards I set for myself.

I posted a pic on Facebook yesterday that stated “I don’t fail, I simply discover what doesn’t work…”

I was once described as “the most self-assured lovingly annoying person” that this individual has ever met… I liked that description…

 

OK getting to my point…what is it about death, I recently heard about the “transitioning of someone” What is it about death that takes us to a place of “Cooley High” memories? For me, it ain’t hard to say good bye to yesterday if yesterday was a FUBAR (look it up..if I write it out it will take away from the message) For me, as in all things I look at changes and transitions as an opportunity to work STEP 4 – I’m not an addict but I’ve been a counselor long enough to know that everyone, EVERYONE! Is in recovery from something.

Now, I’m never going to be one to wax nostalgic and romanticize some bullshit (had to say it) even though the person is gone…sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and the folks who are mourning is to keep your mouth shut and let them go through their process. Real talk if you were jacked up in life…and you did some things that’s between you and God to work out…I do believe that if you were “in Christ” that you will be transformed but I can only deal with my reality in the here and now. My memories are of you jacked up! I can hope and wish better for you in my journeys but bottom line is the memories are of you jacked up! Death does not magically erase pain, hurt and harm…it just let’s you know that the person can’t do it again…you can’t put toothpaste back in a tube…it’s still useful but the process has been changed….you get where I’m going?  

In other words stop romanticizing and use the opportunity to do some self-examination on you “get down”

WHAT IS YOUR LEGACY?!!!!

Aware BY: KB 9.26.16

Blessed are those who mourn….I have been ruminating over this scripture for a few days now. In my deep thought I’ve been asking myself exactly when is the last time I truly felt my heart break over something or someone that has gone against God? Do I mourn things that grieve the Holy Spirit..and you know I had to answer no!

I get so self-absorbed and caught up that I don’t pay attention until that something becomes something big, a Goliath, if you will allow me the analogy; I notice the someone when they are already in the stages of chastisement or affliction.

I often missed the opportunity to teach and correct or to be a comfort because I’m all off in my stuff-mostly self-induced crises because I allow my anxiety (the deceiver) to help me “problem solve”.

I need to be more aware of me as I relate to people and most importantly how I relate to God

Taming My Thoughts BY: KB 9.18.16

2 Corinthians 10:5    We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

We should be aware of our weaknesses and frailties, walking, talking and acting in humility, even when being criticized. Ministry work makes you more susceptible to spiritual warfare with spiritual enemies. Strong arming and browbeating are not the methods of the gospel, but rather utilizing strong persuasions and words in conjunction with your actions, by the power of truth in humility will go a long way.  Our conscience is accountable to God only; and people must be committed to God and their duty, not driven by force. The weapons of spiritual warfare are very powerful; the evidence of truth is convincing: think about it in everyday examples the addict that sees no value in quitting, the thief that is convinced that he/she is not hurting anyone or the crooked politician that curries favor for capital gain. What opposition can come against the gospel?  The powers of sin and Satan in the hearts of men can oppose  but there is no power in the opposition. Once you commit to Christ your growth and power will become immeasurable

A Servants Heart BY: KB 9.17.16

Luke 22:27     For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

Every day we are bombarded with messages to be first, the biggest, the best with ambition and acquisition overruling aptitude; these standards are in direct opposition and cause conflict to the character of a believer. Christ, who assumed a servants role, and humbled himself to a common death of the cross with thieves!

When we identify and join ourselves to Christ, we must expect to at one time or another come under spiritual attack to be assaulted and shaken by Satan. If he cannot destroy, using us against ourselves, he will try to disgrace or distress us. Cockiness and hubris will most certainly lead to a spiritual downfall.; unless we watch and pray , we can easily fall in to behaviors and routines that move them further from Christ.  Believers left to themselves and their own understanding would most likely fall; but they are kept by the power of God, and the prayer of Christ.

Are you willing to serve? Not like a benevolent benefactor writing a check and claiming a tax deduction…are you willing to roll up your sleeve and drop all your “ism” truly connecting to and identifying with the people you serve?

The Stud BY: KB

"There’s a dead elephant in the room!”  We all acknowledge its presence, we know it's there — and we tread lightly around it, afraid to make eye contact because the medusa may turn us into stone…yet, we have already become stone because we are afraid to address the subject head on.  Acknowledging the existence of the elephant would throw off the delicate system of denial that we have built. Acknowledging would recognize the fact that the elephant is feeding and growing stronger on our avoidance. We should look, not like our collective gazes drawn to a car wreck or a horrific sight but look with inquiry in hopes to have conversation about the existence of the elephant and where the elephant fits in the scheme of things.  When we draw our gaze to the elephant and opt to look at the hide, we see that the hide carries the scars of racial strife, systemic homophobia from within and outside its community.

Black lesbians have a struggle equivalent to that of the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960’s in that they are striving to find their place and voice, both as women of color and as lesbians.

While Black sisters don't like to hear this, I would have to say that all Black women are lesbians because we were raised in the remnants of a basically matriarchal society no matter how oppressed we may have been by patriarchy. We're all dykes, including our mommas. Let's really start getting past the shibboleths and taboos. They don't really matter. Being able to recognize that the function of poetry or any art is to ennoble and empower us in a way that's not separate from our living, that belief is African in origin.
Hammond, Karla. "An Interview with Audre Lorde." American Poetry Review March/April 1980: 18-21.

"Lesbian Studs". These are masculine lesbian women who date Feminine “Femme” women exclusively. "Stud" connotes macho breeders on slave plantations, infidelity, playboys, and hyper masculinity. I need no studs in my life.

What does it mean to be a STUD? For me – I rarely use the term Stud (only when talking to someone who uses the term)  I describe myself as butch identified; in that I subscribe to a dominant “male role  in hetero relationships”. It may be argued that I am role playing but I can state without hesitation that this is not the case. I am and have been socialized male.  In using the word “socialized” I am stating that my thought process and actions are that considered inherently male; whereas, I acknowledge and accept that I am living in a female body with female functions I am constantly at odds with the body. I do not and never get excited about Victoria’s Secret, shopping, make up, dolls and the likes. I love sports, tools, power cars, techno-gadgets and fine women and I can remember always being this way; memories dating as far back as the age of 5. I am the middle child raised in a single parent household; my role was that of “de-facto” man of the house  (never stated but implied by requests) – even though I had an older brother . I was deemed the responsible one. I was handy – called on to do minor repairs and assembly.  My mother had a quiet acceptance of me (she understood that I was “different” and like any parent she feared for my future but I know she allowed/ and often created a space for me to blossom)
I was blessed with the fortitude to stand firm in the knowledge of who I am; a difficult task when …society, religious conviction (of my parents, my peers, my community) put an enormous amount of pressure on me to conform. When did it become the norm to live a lie or to live a dichotomous life in order to please others?  When did love become a thing to challenge or question because “yours doesn’t look like mine?”  
I truly get angry when I hear people say (albeit said in ignorance) that homosexuality is a choice….my question to them is who in the hell would choose a life that opens them up to ridicule, scorn, indiscriminate application of laws and systematic denial of basic human rights? What heterosexual is a target for violence simply by holding hands or sharing an intimate kiss? Why is it when a person openly states that they are gay that thoughts immediately go to their bedrooms? – if John Q states he’s dating Jane Doe the worlds a wonderful place but no one asks about their sex life! Why is that?  Isn’t it time that we stop acting like lemmings and become human beings capable of conversing, accepting or agreeing to disagree without judgment or castigation?

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. -The Declaration of Independence

I'm a supporter of gay rights.  And not a closet supporter either.  From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community.  There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.  ~Paul Newman

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?  ~Ernest Gaines

Everybody's journey is individual.  If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy.  The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.  ~James Baldwin

Who would give a law to lovers?  Love is unto itself a higher law.  ~Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Martin Luther King Jr., Letter from Birmingham Jail, April 16, 1963

My Crying Game BY: KB

I’m more of a crybaby in love…..lemme ‘splain Lucy….being in love is a religious experience to me. I cry every time I pray because I allow my mind to reflect on all my blessings and there are soooooo many things to be grateful for. The one thing that really brings on the flood is the fact that God loves me enough to give his all (I often use this example : Say you ask someone for a stick of gum and they say “this is my last stick.” When you use the word last it implies that there is the possibility of restoration. I can go to the store and get more. But when the word only as in John 3:16 – For God so love the world that he gave his only begotten son…there is no other….nothing to take its place. That’s awesome and humbling and I can never even begin to show gratitude for that deed; I place love on a level just below that…someone thinks enough of me to share ….

 I have my days where I have my Job (read the Bible) experiences and I struggle with focus. I know that I may seem prickly as a baby porcupine to some people (that’s New York and “hard knocks” – as my friend says……I know it as a defense mechanism –  a don’t get too close you might see that I am vulnerable ) God knows my heart and my intentions….The folks who know and love me will tell you that I am a “pinkie” (make your own definition- post it on my spot and I’ll tell you if you’re close to the actual meaning)…….

So, with all that being said, know when the word love comes out of my mouth or flows from my pen….it’s the real-dealio ya heard

Me Harmony BY KB: 8.20.05

There are so many lonely hearts looking for that special someone. Many of us are like that country tune “looking for love in all the wrong place…looking for love in too many faces. Searching eyes looking for traces of what we’re dreaming of. Hoping to find a friend and a lover…God Bless the day we discover another heart looking for love.” We, as human beings, want to be loved and nurtured. We spend a great deal of time and effort searching for a perfect love, hoping to find our absolute soul mate.

In this quest some go from relationship to relationship endlessly searching; placing all their expectations, hidden desires, hopes and dreams on some unsuspecting person. I honestly say that I have been on both sides of the quest – an immature concept and of love and “self” causes us to look to others to “complete” us or fulfill our dreams.   How does an individual recognize a soul mate?, Is there a specified amount of time that we need to know this person before it hits us in the  head and the heart and we begin to  think  that "this is it, this is my true love"? Do we have to be a 100 point match this person as e-harmony and other schlock dating services would have us to believe? Is it a major compatibility requirement to have everything in common or just several things, and why is this wonderful individual so hard to find?

I believe that all relationships that come about in our lifetime are a teaching tool/ learning experience to help us grow spiritually and also believe that soul mates (angels- there may be more than one) are in our lives to help us to learn spiritual lessons.  A soul mate may be a person in your life who constantly gets "under your skin- working your last nerve" (refining us by working and manipulating our character defects until we bring them under submission. A Soul mate can be someone who you have a deep, intimate relationship with.  I believe that an individual can recognize their soul mates because there is an instant feeling of "coming home" , an innate and inner calm that one feels in the presence of this special individual; everyday  your soul mate and yourself recognize and respect how you help one another in your spiritual growth. I believe that perfect mate that most people seek is certainly out there, waiting to find you as well,  but you have to be ready and you have to be  conscious (open, honest, affirming …See 1 Corinthians chapter 13)  in your relationship.  If you haven't attracted that "perfect" someone, try visualizing what you want. Consider what you would your life be like with this person?  How would you feel with this person?  What would you do together?  Also, take a look at yourself.  Are you the type of person who would attract your idea of a perfect soul mate?  If not, start today being that type of person to the people who are currently in your life.  

Some helpful Hints on mature love:
 1. Take into consideration that there is a source of wisdom within you that knows better than you do which partner will be most likely to make you happy.  Do not intellectualize or get over analytical about the process – let nature take its course.
2. Stop listening to your ego, and start listening to your Higher Power and your soul be your guide.
3. Don’t be discouraged just because your attempts to find true love have not worked in the past – do not taint your future by reliving the past. A new approach and a positive outlook may produce results beyond your wildest expectations!
4. Look for the sort of person you’d want as a best friend even if you weren’t attracted to her or him sexually.  (Friends often make the best lovers and should the physical become no longer possible you still have a connection on a different plain.)
5. Don‘t seek and nurture a relationship with someone “superior” (ego often prompts us to pursue someone we consider “out of our league”) whose love appears to “elevate” you in some way, but with an equal you enjoy.
6. Remember that your soul won’t be satisfied with anything less than true love. Accept no substitutes!  This means waiting until you feel the unction from your Higher Power……not your loins!
7. Focus on finding a partner who wants to share the kind of life you want, rather than adjusting your desires or vice-versa in order to be with some particular person your ego thinks would be perfect for you.
8. Stop holding out for a relationship that is effortless. Intimate relationships are frequently hard work, even when the other person is a soul mate.  Two individuals with two separate minds (not one head thinking for both – it’s about conversation and compromise)
9. Trust your heart. Trust your gut. And trust the inner sense you have when the energy closes down around some involvement. Be willing to consider change when some aspect of your life has ceased to be fulfilling- Note: this point did not state to call it quits and move on (remember point #8) This point states - be open to change: too often we hold on to dysfunction and end up killing the connection.
10. Sometimes releasing a lover to seek greater fulfillment elsewhere is the highest expression of love.  If you love someone love them enough to set them free (corny but wholly accurate quote) – give them space to grow….some plants cannot and will not blossom in the shadow of another.
11. Recognize that your happiness in life doesn’t depend upon being loved, but upon loving.
12. Come from strength, and focus on what you have to give others rather than on what you hope to get from them.

 I am not going to say whether I’ve found my soul mate….I will say that I have met someone that is extremely special. This special someone makes me think about who I am as an individual and in those thoughts I am constantly challenged and I am constantly striving to be a better person.  This individual is extremely spiritual and I feel an intense sense of connection to my Higher Power and to them based on their heart, words and actions. I am honored that this special individual chooses to share their time with me. I am open an honest at all times….I try my best to be clear in my communication. When I was younger I had a jealous – possessive kind of love  (I still get jealous but I am able to talk about the who/what/ where/when/ why and how’s) of the feeling….but I know for a fact that you can never possess another human being……consider it a blessing that someone chooses to share their lives with you and treat it as a gift from your Higher Power – always be mindful of the gift of love!

Sufficient Grace BY: KB 9.17.16

2 Corinthians 12:9   But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

When is the last time, if ever, that you thanked God for pain? Life is not an easy journey and at times there are going bumps, bruises and missteps along the way…the question is (allow me to go all New Edition on you…can you stand the rain?)

All silliness aside, Paul is telling us how God kept him humble so he wouldn’t be lifted higher than his position by people who learned from or who were blessed by him; in other words God was making sure that Paul didn’t start to believe his own press clippings. We may never know what this thorn in the flesh was, whether some great life stress, or a constant temptation. But we, by faith, know that God often works to our good from evil intent, that criticism from our enemies help to hide pride from us. God loves us and he keeps us from getting caught up in the hype of accolades; and spiritual burdens cure spiritual pride. This thorn in the flesh is said to be from Satan which was dispatched to come against God; but God knew it because He knew Satan, and overruled it for good.

Prayer is a cure for all of life’s ills. If an answer be not given to the first prayer, nor to the second, we are to continue praying. Troubles are sent to teach us to pray; and are continued, to teach us to become prayer warriors. Though God accepts our prayer on its own volition, but He is not Santa Claus, He does not always give what is asked for: God has wrath for some situations, just as He sometimes has to deny requests in love.

What’s the lesson? God does not always remove the issue but He’ll give you the grace to get through it

An Open Letter To A Friend… written for a friend in '07

I received a few text messages yesterday that I would like to share. The messages came from a dear friend who seems to be struggling mentally and emotionally on a frequent basis. I am sharing these messages, not to “front” her off but to share a word as the Lord has given it to me. I am making it public because the message may be a blessing to others….Amen!

 The text messages are as follows ( I’ll have to paraphrase my responses because my cell phone does not record responses):

Friend:            In my mind, I picture Gods hands. One by one, I place my problems and worries, my joy and gratitude into those hands, and finally I climb in too.

Me:                 I climb in only to find those hands empty of worry with space just enough to cradle me.

Friend:            I just look at it as two pair of hands can’t make a masterpiece.

Me:                 No, they are two hands that cover and shield and give you the Master’s peace. Always look deeper when dealing with the things of God.

I share this to say that the Lord has given me a word for those of you who find yourselves stressing or in conflict. Have you ever wondered why you seem to be in a constant state of worry and flux?

Ephesians 6:12

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

We must realize that we live in a world that seeks to destroy our connection and communion with The Most High.

James 4:1 – 6

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
   "God opposes the proud  but gives grace to the humble."

Now, there are some of you who will say that I don’t know if I believe in or have fully come to accept the notion of a heavenly being….but given enough pressure and stress you will cry out to something for relief. If you could fix it yourself you would not be in a state of flux.

Again, we live in a society that tells us that we will never measure up; if you don’t believe me turn on your television for an hour. You will hear that you’re not clean enough, you don’t smell fresh, your teeth aren’t white, you need this and that to make your life easier. When in reality the only thing you need in this life is to embrace the person of Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. God needs no additives! He needs no preservatives! In fact He’s the preserver; he keeps your immortal soul…..

For those of you who had grandmothers who did “canning” think about how long

 the food lasted and how good it tasted (PRESERVED!)  or if you will allow

 me to indulge myself  in manipulating the English language a bit,

 Pre-served….in that you get a foretaste….like the old hymn – 

Blessed Assurance: Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine! 

               O what a foretaste of glory divine!

               Heir of salvation, purchase of God,

            born of his Spirit, washed in his blood.

I’m not going to tell you that accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior is going to make the troubles disappear; the world wants you to believe that so you will just chalk the experience up as another lie that was given to you. What I will tell you is that the way you walk through the trouble will be satisfying.

Philippians 4:6, 7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Revelation3: 18 - 22

I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."

If these words moved you in any way …please know that it means that Jesus is standing at the door to your heart, put your intellect (pride) aside for one moment and respond to your heart. Open the door and fellowship with the Lord. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good….

Pluralism – BY:KB 6.29.15 (*REPOST)

I am who I am…plain and simple. I’m not forcing people to hear me out and I am not imposing my thoughts or opinions on anyone If you read my writings you know that I am many things to many people; you know that I try to walk circumspect although, not always successfully. If you read my writings you know that I am a social justice activist. If you read my writings you know I love to discuss God, theology, religion and how we all relate to it.

With all that being said, at NO TIME did I take a poll or survey to ask people about MY LIFE. I do not seek validation – you either like me or you don’t and trust and believe I am ok with it ALL…

I am not a doorman or a valet for other people’s baggage – I HAVE MY OWN ISSUES and I refuse to allow someone’s narrow-minded, selfish, bigoted and finite definitions and parameters of Christ to build fences and walls.  I am a multi-faceted person who loves God and tries to me demonstrative in the Agape love that He preached. I refuse to allow a person or entity to make me choose one aspect of my life over another-  Mark 3:25     If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

Salt & Light BY KB: 9.17.16

Matthew 5: 13 – 16     13 You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its savor, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. 14 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a basket. Instead, they set it on a lamp stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

What in this passage stood out for you? For me, it was the question how can salt become salty again? Now I don’t know too much about science, I haven’t really be interested in learning about it since grade school, but I do know that salt can be dissolved but it can also be reconstituted if you allow the dissolvent to evaporate (look at me using scientific words-gimme a gold star)

In a spiritual context you have to ask yourself have you allowed the world to taint you Godly “flavor”?  There are so many questions attached to that one question about salt. For me the first question would be:  Am I living a life of purpose?  I know some of you are posing the question: Am I using or being used? Am I living my life to please others? ….see, the list goes on….

Here’s the solution…get back to God or your Higher Power…we have allowed the world to dilute and distract from our potency. Allow God to reconstitute you. In doing this the world will see the light

It’s Me Oh Lord BY: KB 9.17.16

I have been deep into “word study” in the Bible the past few days. I’ve heard the term  “word study” while growing up, I heard it used primarily in Black Churches; when I use the term “word study”  I mean I reflect on things I’ve heard quoted  or cited in a particular reading from a passage.

Today’s reading Psalm 55:22  Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

“Sunlight glittered on the swimming pool in front of me. I overheard an instructor speaking to a student who had been in the water for quite a while. He said, “It looks like you’re getting tired. When you’re exhausted and in deep water, try the survival float.”

Certain situations in life require us to spend our mental, physical, or emotional energy in a way that we can’t sustain. David described a time when his enemies were threatening him and he felt the emotional weight of their anger. He needed to escape the distress he was experiencing.

As he processed his feelings, he found a way to rest in his troubled thoughts. He said, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you” (Ps. 55:22). He recognized that God supports us if we dare to release our problems to Him. We don’t have to take charge of every situation and try to craft the outcome—that’s exhausting! God is in control of every aspect of our life.

Instead of trying to do everything in our own effort, we can find rest in God. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking Him to handle our problems. Then we can pause, relax, and enjoy the knowledge that He is sustaining us.”   Our Daily Bread – 9.17.16

This has been an epic week for me…most of the week I was confused. I was trying to make sense of something that wasn’t mine to process but it impacted me. Yesterday, Friday I was frustrated by a series of events that seemed trivial but irritated me to no end 1) a torn hamstring, 2 poor customer service and 3) I went to a specialty store to get something that was allegedly in stock and it wasn’t . Sounds trivial right? What I figured out is that issues number 2 and 3 fed into the hurt and confusion caused by issue number 1 and I allowed it all to snowball before TRULY  ( I’ll tell you why it’s bold and underlined in a minute) giving it to God.

I underlined the word truly because I know to go to prayer but I sometimes approach prayer things like Jacob – wrestling with it until it blesses me. I determined that I cannot wrestle with what I don’t know, can’t see or feel…I had to cast it upon God. I could pray about my confusion and circumstances surrounding it.

To truly get the one verse we must read 55:16-23  doing so with the knowledge that we must call upon God with EVERY trial, and IN FAITH knowing that He will save us.  Our actions should be guided by the fact that He is our Father; He would listen to us, and not get frustrated by the frequency or the triviality of our issues. God rejoices in the frequency of our petitions.

David’s situation made him somewhat paranoid. He truly believed that everyone had turned against him; but during the struggle he began to see that he had support, more than he imagined; and he praised God that he was able to see it; David praised God because he knew that his support was from God.  This is why it’s important to call upon “prayer warriors” when you’re struggling

Stress and anxiety are very heavy burdens, especially when they are accompanied with the force of temptations and the direct aim of Satan; there are also the burdens of the desire to sin or you’re already engaged in the sin and the pervasiveness of corruption. The only way to get relief is to look to Christ, to understand that He bore it all. Like any father, God loves to see that His children have what they want and need, leave it to Him to give it in his own way (preparing you) and time.

Take Up Your Cross BY: KB 9.16.16

Some of you might be thinking….what is up with KB?, she’s gone all religious “mano” on us… Nope; if you know me you’d know that my faith is a very major part of who I am….you would know I was once very active in ministry being a youth minister. Not that I’m not active now, my ministry is in a different focus now, I am out here in these streets working with people who the mainstream has casted off. I’m working with “the homeless, the addict, the sex worker, the hustlers” – all society words to segregate and denigrate. What we should really being saying is “there but by the grace of God…”

When I get all worked up mentally…I go to my source of strength and comfort…God. He and I talk on the regular but I tend to visit more often when I’m stressed – does that remind you of going home?

So I was all off into the word today….some of y’all may remember that I recently said that I have a gripe with the Bible…I do, but it’s not for the reasons you may think. Allow me to explain before I get into my message so you all don’t feel like you’ve gotten a mixed message from me.

My “beef” with the Bible is that it was given to African Americans as a tool of subjugation. There were certain people (Europeans) who got to dictate what scrolls were canonized and in doing so they erased all cultural influence and context of Africans….oh don’t be shocked Africans and people of color were very much a part of Greece and Rome but where are we in the Bible? Where are we mentioned in the majority of modern day teachings and depiction? We’re still teaching a subtle form of denial and racism…even in the African American communities. Cleopatra didn’t look like Elizabeth Taylor – wake up y’all!   I do believe that all scripture is God breathed and inspired so I know the lessons are pertinent to my life…I just wish that all the scrolls were translated and kept in historic context.  ‘nuff said!

Getting back to what I was saying, when I get all head up and stressed I go “home” and my prayer life kicks into hyper-drive” So, this morning I was just doing a free-flowing word study and I remembered 

Luke 9: 23 Then he said to them all: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

Just what does it mean to take up your cross? To me it means that life is going to follow its course and some unpleasant and uncomfortable things are going to show up….

Now most of us try to seek immediate relief and release from the discomfort: I AM NO DIFFERENT! Where I am different is that I have learned to quickly realize what I’m doing and I shift focus and start praying to and praising God. I do this because I am in deep connection with the suffering of Christ for my sake. Trials are not always punishment; people, trials are sometimes a motivator or a way to show us how to do something better. Struggles and discomfort can also be a stepping stone to the next level of a blessing ( think about it….what good is it to give someone something precious if they can’t or won’t appreciate it?)

 

My faith is unshakable and unbreakable....I may get emotional for a minute ...I'm human ...but I know it is never about me

Fragrance BY: KB 9.16.16

We are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ. 2 Corinthians 2:15

A perfumer who works in New York declares that she can recognize certain combinations of scents and guess the perfumer behind a fragrance. With just a sniff she can say, “This is Jenny’s work.”

When writing to the followers of Christ in the city of Corinth, Paul at one point used an example that would have reminded them of a victorious Roman army in a conquered city burning incense (2 Cor. 2:14). The general would come through first, followed by his troops and then the defeated army. For the Romans, the aroma of the incense meant victory; for the prisoners, it meant death.

Paul said we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ’s victory over sin. God has given us the fragrance of Christ Himself so we can become a sweet-smelling sacrifice of praise. But how can we live so we spread this pleasing fragrance to others? We can show generosity and love, and we can share the gospel with others so they can find the way to salvation. We can allow the Spirit to display through us His gifts of love, joy, and kindness (Gal. 5:22–23).

Do others observe us and say, “This is Jesus’s work”? Are we allowing Him to spread His fragrance through us and then telling others about Him? He is the Ultimate Perfumer—the most exquisite fragrance there will ever be.

This was my devotional reading this morning and it got me doing some serious thinking about what it means to be “in Christ”

Do you remember when you were a kid and you found the smell of your mother and father as something that soothed you? I remember one instance where I smelled my mother’s perfume and I told her that she “smelled pretty.”  Now, if you think about it this involves two different senses but it is something that we must ask ourselves “Do I smell pretty?”  "What’s my scent in Christ?"

Do I have the sulfur smell of the last lie I told? Do I have the stench of another man/woman? Am I reeking of addiction?  When people see me, do they see light or dark?

It seems so trivial to read and see but this is so critical because you and your life may be the only Bible or representation of Christ that people see…do you look and smell pretty?

A Bad Approach By: KB 9.11.16

It is no secret that I write a daily spiritual blog and email it out to friends to motivate them daily. I have two people who respond to the messages on a regular basis. They often tell me how the message was right on time applicable to something they’re going through.  I often prepare the posts a month in advance in order to make provision for my hectic and frantic writing routine; I have several blogs and outlets.

I’m writing all that to say, that I was preparing some posts today when I came across this thought from one of the devotionals that I use to prepare my messages.

Currently, Christianity is being compared with other religions as never before. Some so-called Christian leaders even advocate the working out of a system of morals, ethics, and religion that would bring together all the religions of the world. It cannot be done. Jesus Christ is unique. Why insist on the uniqueness of Christ? What did Christ bring into the world that had not appeared before? The Christian answer is that He is the supreme manifestation of God. “God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself” (2 Corinthians 5:19). This is the eternal fact of our Christian faith.

This particular post began to gnaw at me. I felt very unsettled with it because it comes from a very narrow perspective. I had to stop and really think about how I wanted to use this message. I was reminded of a situation that I was privy to; I didn’t like it then and this particular writing has me disliking it now.  In this situation…a woman, claiming a title of religious leader in her particular denomination got into a conversation about religious beliefs with a Muslim brother. This woman talked down to this brother, belittled his beliefs and became very condescending in her presentation of Christ to this brother. He showed remarkable restraint and humility in his ability to listen. She, however, never let him finish his thought….

Getting back to my blog…I ended this particular post by posing the question…Am I so narrow in my faith constructs that I cannot allow for others? If you’re approaching someone with a my God is better than your God you’re dead (literally) wrong!

Just The Facts BY: KB 8.28.16

Just The Facts     BY: KB  8.28.16

I’m sitting here watching Amistad for the umpteenth time and like all the other times I’m moved to both anger and tears of the history of  brutality of this country and how well ALL seem to forget or turn a blind eye and calloused heart to it as long as we have a few material comforts. European slave traders found the first African commodity to exploit; Spain, France, Portugal and The Netherlands were heavy in the market. France had up to 26 million Africans – let that sink in 26 million, for one country. Mind you The Holocaust accounts for approximately 6 million Jews… why isn’t the importing, brutality, trading and enslavement of Blacks considered a Holocaust? We remember the Jews yet we continue to see Blacks in this country as an inconsequential entity unless the Black impacts the life of someone White.

We then we have the people who want to discuss the facts of Black on Black crime, like they give a damn, but let’s get real and talk about it….Black on Black crime is a byproduct of the horrific conditions and treatment that this country continues to promulgate. We hear the word “ghetto” used as a synonym for Black…on some levels it’s true because Blacks continue to be relegated to certain areas that “keep them contained” by lack of resources…a new economic racism…but we don’t see that because this is America!!!

Now let’s just really take the gloves off and get down with some bare knuckles…I am 2 generations removed from share-croppers and 3 from slaves. When the freedom was fought for…save the bullshit history lesson it wasn’t granted. The Emancipation Proclamation was written in and signed in blood…BLOOD FROM PEOPLE OF ALL COLORS!

People migrated from the land of their oppressors…only to find more oppression. The people, barely literate because their “owners” saw no need to educate or prepare them for anything other than servitude to their needs; a trend perpetuated in the perceived utopia of the North with the creation of vocational schools – created in the perception that Blacks would not attend college.

Blacks seemed to have made strides in employment as the country industrialized..the majority of my family became property owners as a result of the steel industry and auto manufacturing plants  but it’s also the same industry that killed them with various health issues because the industries weren’t regulated. Once the industries discovered they could produce a cheaper product and pollute to their hearts content they abandoned a group of people (once again, Black were utilized as a cheap and dispensable labor source)

While many of us were flag waving and celebrating in the Rio Olympics ….you have to know that Brazil had 4.9 million slaves long before the Portuguese ever set foot on their soil and the Blacks of Brazil are truly in slum conditions..

These are just a few of the reasons why we should know our history and keep shouting about BLACK LIVES

Come Out and Live BY: KB 8.19.16

Who are the relationship role models for same gender loving people of color; more specific lesbians of color?

We know of individuals; people such as Alice Walker, Angela Davis, Audre Lorde, Barbara Jordan, Bessie Smith, Lorraine Hansberry.  We hold them up and extol them for their historical purpose and cultural content but what about their lives? What about the lives of their partners? How did they interact in the day to day? Were their partners people of color?

We never get the full content as we search to develop our own relationships. The majority of our couplings are based in hetero examples and we are forced to add our own personal twists to fit the need. Who or what can we emulate? I ask this question because the only couple that we regularly see is Ellen DeGeneres and Portia. We know that there are other same gender loving folks out and about but Ellen seems to be the only person who has the forum and the “stones” to be out there with her relationship. Gay men have Jussie Smollett..who really didn’t have a formal coming out statement he just merely stated that he never hid who he was…which in other words like many, many, many  gay and lesbian African Americans , he chose to let people speculate.

I’m posing these questions as a way to encourage African American to stop hiding…be out and be proud! There is no shame in embracing your authentic self! Disregard the people who attempt to heap shame upon you…there’s a level of unhappiness in anyone who attempts to make someone else unhappy about being genuine.

It took me some years to embrace who I am because of church constructs and constrictions…I have since come to realize that love is love is love is love and no one has the power or the ability to stifle a gift from God.

1 Corinthians 13: 13   And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Embrace who you are…..all of who you are!

Happiness vs. Joy BY :KB

I wrote this piece a while back...2005 to be exact and I have been mentally writing and re-writing this piece ever since. There are two reoccurring themes in how I develop my faith and how I live my life. The first is the core to it all...love! I try to dissect and analyze just what it means to love  both on a spiritual and a physical level. I spend so much time studying the word because I believe that we have gotten so far away from what it means to LOVE that we no longer have a point of reference and we make it up as we go along. We live in a time where it's easy to lay with a person than it is to pray with and for that person...think about that for a minute. I pray for my loved ones daily. I lift my special someone before God....

before I post the piece I want to briefly discuss the second thing I really concentrate on and that is what drives us  as human beings...what do we seek and stress over?

READ AND THINK:

“When we worry about the things we don’t have we miss out on the blessings of the things that we do have.”

A variation of this anonymous quote:
Happiness is not having what you want - It is wanting what you have.

‘To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.”

These are quotes from my clients, I work as a Substance Abuse Counselor. I hear them repeat these words like a mantra….AA and NA member often say “fake it until you make it.” and I am a firm believer in the “act as if _______.” But what does it mean to be happy? If people were truly happy would therapist have a job? Would the drug companies be filling Pez dispensers with Welbutrin, Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft and the likes?…don’t get me wrong I am not doing a “Cruise” and knocking the use of these drugs. I believe the drugs are useful and necessary but what I question is their over use or free flowing scripts because it’s easier to medicate than to ferret out the source and do some “self” work.

What does it mean to be happy? I did some internet surfing and I found these quotes:

Democritus, (460?-370? BC)
Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul.

Aristotle
To live happily is an inward power of the soul.

Sharon Salzberg
It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on.

John Templeton
Happiness comes from spiritual wealth, not material wealth... Happiness comes from giving, not getting. If we try hard to bring happiness to others, we cannot stop it from coming to us also. To get joy, we must give it, and to keep joy, we must scatter it.

Ursula K. LeGuin
I certainly wasn't happy. Happiness has to do with reason, and only reason earns it. What I was given was the thing you can't earn, and can't keep, and often don't even recognize at the time; I mean joy.

Mary Baker Eddy
Happiness is spiritual, born of Truth and Love. It is unselfish; therefore it cannot exist alone, but requires all mankind to share it.

joy   (joi)
n.

1.  
1. Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness.
2. The expression or manifestation of such feeling.
2. A source or an object of pleasure or satisfaction: their only child, their pride and joy.

v. joyed, joy·ing, joys
v. intr.

To take great pleasure; rejoice.

v. tr. Archaic

1. To fill with ecstatic happiness, pleasure, or satisfaction.
2. To enjoy.

  (joi)
n.

1.  
1. Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness.
2. The expression or manifestation of such feeling.
2. A source or an object of pleasure or satisfaction: their only child, their pride and joy.

v. joyed, joy·ing, joys
v. intr.

To take great pleasure; rejoice.

v. tr. Archaic

1. To fill with ecstatic happiness, pleasure, or satisfaction.
2. To enjoy.

Joy comes from within and is not dependent upon circumstances. Joy is present when you have an unshakable faith and when your relationship (not religion) with your Higher Power is in tact. An individual can know joy and be in prison. (Acts 16) – Living example Nelson Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Holocaust survivors …these people knew that there was a power greater than themselves....trusting and knowing that God is a God of supply

 Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

hap·py    (hp)
adj. hap·pi·er, hap·pi·est

1. Characterized by good luck; fortunate.
2. Enjoying, showing, or marked by pleasure, satisfaction, or joy.
3. Being especially well-adapted; felicitous: a happy turn of phrase.
4. Cheerful; willing: happy to help.
5.  
1. Characterized by a spontaneous or obsessive inclination to use something. Often used in combination: trigger-happy.
2. Enthusiastic about or involved with to a disproportionate degree. Often used in combination: money-happy; clothes-happy.

Happiness is temporal. Happiness is rooted in the frailties of man – people, places and things….Daniel chapter 2 teaches that kings and kingdoms set up by man will crumble. Scripture goes on the further state that unless the Lord builds a house its builder labors in vain….. Who is the architect of your home? Are you seeking joy or happiness?