It seems like it has been forever since I’ve written
anything of substance; you know the kind of writing that makes you pause and do
a bit of self-examination…asking “Do I really do that? Or Did they really think
they needed to tell me that?” this piece fall under the latter question.
First let me say, I love my family dearly but, yes, there is
a but, they get on my last good nerve with the petty things that triggers anger
and inane arguments and constant bickering. The real kicker for me is that most
of the arguments are usually wrapped in or justified by a vague connection to
scripture…like it somehow excuses or justifies the position of judgment. I
realize that my verbalizing and writing the statement assumes a position of
judgment but I just had to put it out there because I am at an age and stage in
my life where merry-go-rounds make me dizzy and nauseous; I’m getting off the
ride…say what you will about me!
Now, some of y’all know me…saying tis to say, I’m not a deep
and mysterious person. I’m very straight forward maybe to the point of being
too blunt at times. The things that garner my wrath are blatant disrespect,
bullying, sexism, fundamentalism, racist and bigoted bullshit! It’s just that
simple. Please note I will call you out on it and hold you accountable.
Now, I’m getting to the point of my conversation. My family
somehow believes that I could not manage to get to the ripe old age of 55
without their advice both solicited and unsolicited. Please note I left my
mother’s eye when I was 25, so, 30 years. Now mind you, she left my father when
I was 16 because of domestic violence and I lived without her for about 18
months. To this day she is still finding out some of the things I did as a
child thanks to loose lipped siblings. My sister left home at age 18 and didn’t
return to the state until about age 23 or 24 so we had a period of separation as
well. So, they really don’t know the majority of my life’s experiences and I
don’t share a lot of them because they are mine and part of my development and
lessons to learn. My mom and my sister are relentless in giving advice and at
times it just sound like admonishments…and I always find myself thinking they
don’t know half the shit I had to wade through to get to where I am today and I’m
ok with me…what they do know is that I can and will back them off of me and go
on my own for a good long time when I’ve reached my maximum saturation point.
They do know that I have the will of a pit bull and at times I have to show
them because they seem to be deaf when I try to tell them.
Wrapping this all up…I love both these women dearly but they
have to recognize and embrace the fact that I am NOT them and we share the same
DNA but not the same take of life experiences and lessons. I’m not going to
take a passive position in any parts of my life….
The same way I embrace my blessing is the same way I embrace
the consequences for my misbehavior!
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