Keeping it 100, like I do, let me say that I am sick and
tired of folks, not just fundamentalists, I’m also addressing the profoundly
ignorant and bigoted assuming that homosexuality is a choice! Now, please
excuse the harsh language “profoundly ignorant” but I have to say something
because there is so much information available that people choose to ignore. I
don’t even have words for people who deny their own children for not living
THEIR lives according to a script that the parents wrote.
Then there’s the people who use the term “lifestyle” like I’m
in vogue or part of a collection. I
never hear heterosexual coming out stories or heteros being asked “when did you
know that you liked the opposite sex? Or When did you choose to be hetero? That
to me is asking someone when they choose to be White? I say White because it’s
the majority power dynamic in this country…just as heterosexuality is
prevalent.
Let’s keep it real that I have made no bones about how I
feel about Christian fundamentalists who have gone above and beyond the pale in
their damage and destruction of lives. So once again I will address my life and
only my life. I cannot and dare not speak for others but I can I say I know of others
who share my story.
Let’s address the subject of choice for a second shall we? I
choose to be gay like you choose to be straight…meaning it’s just who I am. I
am attracted to my same gender. I am very much female. I’m not trying to be a
man… hell, I am friends with enough guys to know that they have their own
unique set of problems that I can empathize with because most of the women that
I have dated have a certain level of expectation for me to carry that certain
counter –balance for them. Now I tend to find a bit of humor in the dynamic
because many of the guys I know don’t know a damn thing about cars and car
repair or any repairs for that matter and I do. My dad couldn’t fix a damn
thing. I was curious about things so I paid very close attention to the people
who knew how to do the repairs…but I digress. Choice…can I just say I hate that
bulls---; who would choose a life of scrutiny by strangers, negative comments
and threats of bodily harm because you loving someone made some ignorant person
uncomfortable? Think about that for a minute…love making someone uncomfortable.
Sounds silly once you read it doesn’t it?
Now let’s discuss the other thing I tend to hear? You have daddy issues or a man must have done
something to you to make you gay? I can
agree to daddy issues…my father was an abusive alcoholic but I had examples of
good men in my life so I can pretty much discredit that one. I can say that I
knew that I was “different” at the age of 5; my first memory of being attracted
to women. I attempted to date but there was no chemistry or real attraction
that I had with women. I pretty much stopped faking and trying to please other
people in my life in my early 20’s.
Now, last by no means least to the fundamentalists….I’ve
grown weary of people quoting Leviticus and people telling me “love the sinner,
hate the sin” so I won’t continue defending myself quoting scripture back to
you. I’m just going to pray for your change of heart or character as you say,
often in great hostility, you’re doing for me and we’ll let God be true…I’m
just going to say that I’m ok with who I am and whose I am…it’s the rest of the
world that seems to think they know me and have a problem with me and my loved
ones.
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