A Tale of Two Cultures BY: KB 1 30 16

Well, well, well, chickens have come to roost yet again….people are trying to act like it’s not a ‘Frisco reality but it is! The hippie dippy flower children of yesteryear that slept black in college are now the covert pc talking racists of today and they are raising openly racist children.

Let’s talk about some real adult shit out in the open…..I’m not going to try to hide my disdain or talk around my dislike of entitlement bullshit and white privilege. So let’s get real and talk about the scandal at St. Ignatius College Prep in San Francisco. You know the one that folks are busy trying to cover up like at cat in a litter box. In case you don’t know or haven’t heard read:  

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/San-Francisco-students-suspended-over-racist-6790881.php

A true “Dear White People” moment.

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/San-Francisco-students-suspended-over-racist-6790881.php

(I personally like the story blurb “some black students attended”)  They should be suspended as well and then someone needs to get with their asses to discuss internalized racism…a lifetime of ostracism  from both sides…a life in the middle of nowhere!

Parents are upset that their little cherubs have been suspended when they really should be expelled…They’re concerned about their chances for college…screw that!!!! What about their moral character? They’re in a prestigious, private, Catholic school; ambassadors for the school and the faith and morals ….so what are the parents saying they want to pay for the education and let their kids continue to be ass----- as long as they get into the college of their choice? Colleges where they will no doubt hone their racism in fraternities, sororities and secret societies…growing up garnering memberships into exclusive country clubs and moving anywhere that has a limited number of people of color.

Let’s talk about a little known story that happened a few years earlier at the same high school. A black athlete had CONSENSUAL sex with a white student…now, both being young and dumb allowed themselves to be videotaped. The boy, bragging of his conquest showed the video to a few friends. People talked. Parents and school found out. Now the parents of the girl had the young man expelled stating that their daughter’s reputation was destroyed. THE SEX WAS CONSENSUAL. She gets to remain in school and he has to find a school that will keep his athleticism on track to be recognized by a college. Some real To Kill A Mockingbird / OJ / Tiger Woods vindictive shit but no one seems to want to talk about that incident because it will show a definitive pattern on how this school deals with race.

S.F. Super Bowl BUST!!!!! By: KB 1.21.16

I want you to think about this story as you gather with friends and family at the local sports bar to celebrate  and cheer for your favorite team on the 50^th anniversary of the Super Bowl ……

I’ve been working with a cousin on the East Coast sharing video to expose the dubious complicity of the NFL and the city of San Francisco. Now don’t get me wrong San Francisco is a beautiful city but years of political corruption and cronyism has definitely changed the vision and beauty of the city. The days “Summer Of Love” and “Gay Mecca” are long gone and we now have the city of Conspicuous Consumerism.com.

The city of San Francisco began to erode when Ronald Reagan closed all the long term mental health facilities; one swipe of his pen created a mentally ill homeless population. Reagan also created a health and housing crisis with his steadfast refusal to acknowledge the AIDS epidemic. On a local level political favor mongering and cronyism also created an internal weakness in the city’s political infrastructure. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve seen any movies or television shows filmed in the city (this is important to note because television and movies generated revenues and created jobs.)

Fast forward to 2015 and 2016….Mayor Ed Lee has sold the city’s soul to the dot com devil. Companies like Twitter, Google, Zynga, Uber, Adobe and Yahoo have been given massive tax breaks to headquarter themselves in the city. I bet you didn’t know that the first 3 floors of the San Francisco Chronicle, a onetime powerful Hearst newspaper, is now occupied by Yahoo! The overpaid coders and techies have now created a serious housing crisis…it’s a buyers’ market…name your price. A burnt out “tear down” house just recently sold for over 400k. So, what do the politicians do? They create a craptacular system for new buildings and construction…each new unit must have so many units of “below market” units for “affordable” housing. Sounds fair right? WRONG!!!! If the market is over inflated what’s the below value? It’s double talk….and families are being evicted because of greed and consumerism….yeah we need more bars, coffee shops and condos that no one can afford. Oh that family is there….Ellis Act or no fault eviction!

Now, let me get to the Super Bowl… the game is not even being played in the city because the old Candlestick pack is not a construction site for condos and a strip mall. The football team is now in the city of Santa Clara who has recently declared that they will not pay 1 cent for hosting the game. The cost is solely on the city of San Francisco.  For all you die hard Niner’s fans in the Mission think about this as you watch your friends and neighbors being displaced….cheer about your tax dollars going down the drain for something that is NOT in your best interest.  The Super Bowl is a completely different ball game when you’re homeless in San Francisco.

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/matier-ross/article/S-F-mayor-Homeless-have-to-leave-the-6465209.php

http://sfist.com/2015/11/12/super_bowl_50_committee_requesting.php

http://www.sfexaminer.com/mayor-lee-vows-improved-homeless-response-with-homeless-department/

http://kron4.com/2015/11/24/graphic-video-only-on-kron-homeless-woman-gives-birth-at-bus-stop-in-san-francisco/

I have been video documenting a growing homeless encampment along the route to the freeway in hopes that my cousin a journalist can light a fire under someone to expose the fraud perpetrated by both the NFL and the city of San Francisco.

http://kron4.com/2015/11/24/graphic-video-only-on-kron-homeless-woman-gives-birth-at-bus-stop-in-san-francisco/

I want my city back. I want to know that I can afford to live here. I want to know that my options are not limited because some entitled dot com “f” is leaching off the land.

Sometimes the best advice you could give is your silence BY: KB 1.19.16

My tv was on for the 3 day weekend but my mind was elsewhere….I watched the NFL playoff games but I was really focused on thoughts on life and just how truly blessed I am. My family was seriously worried about the results of the cat scan – the didn’t say much but the pressured silence and minimal questions spoke for itself. They were elated when I shared that no other procedures were necessary ….then the questions came; mom just unloaded her tension…I could hear it in her words. I had to say “what was the worst that the news could be?” I’ve already dealt with cancer and I have lived on my terms ever since so if it was “bad news” to the family…I would continue on business as usual. Don’t get me wrong I still feel like there’s so much more to do but I know that I’m working things out one day at a time…walking in faith, being true to me and praising God for the blessings and lessons.

The other thing that I discovered during my “disconnect” is that I absolutely HATE to hear people harangue and harp on trivial matters….

I got a call that just ravaged and savage my spirit and my ear…I finally had to just tell the person  to shut the hell up and listen for a minute. I pointed out that they could have the soundest advice ever and that their point could be impenetrably salient but have they ever asked themselves if the recipient EVER asked for their help or advice?  I had to ask the person what’s their payoff in feeling like they have to put on a cape and rescue? I had to ask the person have they ever just sat and listened without feeling the need to respond. I had to tell the person that my having to listen to their complaints about others is getting old. I also had to point out to the individual that they are keeping tabs….counting up what they feel that they are owed for their service….noting that they got “paid” when the recipients said “Thank you…” and that rattling off what they do for others is tacky….like the saying goes “don’t eat with those who will brag about feeding you”  Now, I know we have all done it from time to time when we feel slighted but when do you recognize that you’re speaking from some level of wounded pride and bruised ego?

My grandma always said “don’t let the right hand know what the left hand is doing…” I get it. I don’t let everyone in my business. If I do something for someone it’s between me and them. If I get angry about something that person said or did….I check myself first to see why I’m angry. I will also clearly point out to people  - don’t give me advice unless I ask for help; that doesn’t mean you can’t share your experiences but I didn’t ask for a lecture on “SHOULDS”  it’s my life and my lessons to learn..

How ya livin’?

A Brief Autobiography BY: KB 1.5.16

REAL TALK from KB:  To me, it’s the epitome of hypocrisy to call someone out on their stuff only to conveniently have the disability to be blind to your own...with that being said I’m going to be a bit transparent.

I’ve been out and proud since the age 25…not saying that I didn’t know I was gay; I’ve known since about age 5 or 6 I just didn’t have the vocabulary to articulate it. My parents knew, but we did the dance of denial partnered with social norms. To be honest I don’t know how I made it through the years without losing my freakin’ mind; thank God I made it out because I know too many gay people who are struggling with inner conflict and looking for acceptance from people who are too ignorant and stubborn to give it.

Let me discuss the ignorance for a moment….there are the factions of my people  (family, friends and acquaintances) that hold on to the school of thought that my same gender loving life was a result of a tumultuous and contentious relationship with my father. I laugh at that because I knew I was gay long before I realized that my father was an ill-bred selfish ass; as a matter of fact he had a gay sister who was not raised with him (they had the same dad and didn’t connect until later in life)….so no, I shoot that theory down but I thank you for sharing it. I don’t hate men….I have many male friends and family that I embrace and socialize with …I’ll stand shoulder to should and fight with/for many of them; many of them have seen me do it. (my youth on the Eastside of Buffalo….Sycamore playground and across Bailey Avenue – y’all know. My cousins Dave and Ben – rockin’ and sockin’ fools a Coleman playground – all the fights for folks using the N-word).

Another theory is that I want to be a man. Hell it’s hard enough to be a gay Black woman in this world why would I want to co-op on a Black man’s struggle?…hell! They have their own set of problems. I am a woman! I love the softer sides of me. I love the fact that my thought processes are “gender fluid” and I can see both sides of a situation and react accordingly – I am blessed to have the Native American concept of two-spirits.

Last but by no means least there are the people who River Dance on my last good nerve…..the conservative Christians who have a judgment for me and get all ass hurt when I call out their hypocrisy…to you I say that the condemnation and constrictions of YOUR religion is all the hell I need to see and I’ll gladly swim the River Styx to avoid the beating that you wrap in the gospel. If I am going to hell….we can finish our conversation there because you’ll be right there with me for the ways you address me and call it love.

I have known love, true love, twice in my life….the first time to the lovely individual who put up with all my immaturity and lunacy as  I discovered what it means to be gay in this big ol’ harsh world. Too bad I didn’t recognize that she was struggling with her own demons…..one of them was controlling and taming other people’s. The second, man oh man, had the patience of a saint…..I am a moody, cerebral, passionate and compassionate monster 99% of the time the other 1% is spent eating and sleeping. Time with this person was magical….it was like watching God knit a snowflake…and just like that, 16 years seemed like 16 seconds….the snowflake melted. Tomorrow is not promised.

Here I am 3 years away and just beginning my thaw….starting my new year off on positives and will continue to move in that direction….some of y’all won’t go or can’t go with me….that’s cool I thank you for the love and the purpose that you’ve provided; do you and be the best you that you can be……but please, by all means continue to ask yourselves 

How ya livin’?

REAL TALK from KB: Good morning y’all…..I told you earlier in the new year (I know it’s only the 4^th) that I was going to go hard in the paint…so today is no different.

Today I’m going to discuss the complacency and lethargy of the “religious” (I can’t say apathy because I know people care but they have been deluded into thinking that Christianity means exclusion and passivity.) The church and church people have given a poor account of themselves and the representation has pretty much alienated the younger generation.

I once mentioned that a simple question stuck in my craw for a very long time and gave me major cause to pause and think. The question was: would you be a Christian if your ancestral slave master had not introduced you to his religion? Then I was hit with how can a slave and a master pray to the same God and both expect their prayers to be answered?

The Bible (which I still embrace) says study to show thyself approved (2 Timothy 2:15)…so me being me…I studied! I studied Buddhism; I studied Islam; and I studied the practices of the Native Americans as well as the Yoruba.

I am amazed at the number of the African American Christians that don’t see a hint of any of the practices in their history, theology and religious services. I’m shocked and appalled by the number of African Americans who can embrace the sacrifices in the Old Testament but call the African practice of Santeria and Voodoo as witchcraft…..who told you the practices were evil or against God? You can belief in a God of 3 persons but can’t wrap your mind around something being called a spirit. You can go a la carte (picking and choosing what parts you choose to embrace) with your Christianity but call a devout brother or sister an extremist or a terrorist.  (Can I ask what religion doesn’t have some form of martyrdom?)

I still very much embrace God…I believe what I’ve seen and how He has manifested himself in my life. He has shown me great mercy and kept me when I didn’t have the wherewithal or sense to maintain….I just have separated myself from what “some” folks call Christianity..hate, bigotry, racism and exclusion are NOT Christian values.

John 13:34   A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

This verse did not just apply to the 12 disciples………

How ya livin’?

Losing My Religion By: KB 12 23 15

There’s an R.E.M. that was quite popular some years back; the lyrics are: 

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion

I am so there! I am so sick of the delusional thinking and subtle brainwashing that leading Black folks into apathy , lethargy and eventually slaughter. It’s all done under the guise and gall of religion. People are telling themselves that their anger about certain things is un-Christian…wake the hell up!!!

A while back I came across the question: would you be a Christian today if your slave master wasn’t a Christian? I struggled with and still wrestle with that very loaded question….I believe in God but I am really struggling with the label of Christian because I’ve seen and heard some very poor representatives of Christianity…all the while justifying and rationalizing their character defects in scriptural deflections.

I also looked up a very perplexing bit of scripture that many people still use to justify their madness or excuse their apathy.

Colossians 3:22     Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.

This passage is used by abusers and victims alike; the abuser tells their victim that their abuse is sanctioned by God and the victim tells themselves that it’s not Christian to be angry or rebel against the abuse. This mentality is the very reason why it’s “open season” on Black folks. We are still viewed as property and we are brainwashed into believing we must tolerate the abuse.

Oh my people I am her to tell you that you are taking your scripture waaaaaaaaaaaaay out of context. If you believe that the passage deals with obedience and the “slave master” is teaching it to you…isn’t he/she held to the same level of accountability? If God is about love doesn’t he/she have a moral obligation to abide by the same standard? So why are you apologizing for YOUR mistreatment?

Let’s look at one of the well-known Commentary’s on the passage:

Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary

3:18-25 The epistles most taken up in displaying the glory of the Divine grace, and magnifying the Lord Jesus, are the most particular in pressing the duties of the Christian life. We must never separate the privileges and duties of the gospel. Submission is the duty of wives. But it is submission, not to a severe lord or stern tyrant, but to her own husband, who is engaged to affectionate duty. And husbands must love their wives with tender and faithful affection. Dutiful children are the most likely to prosper. And parents must be tender, as well as children obedient. Servants are to do their duty, and obey their masters' commands, in all things consistent with duty to God their heavenly Master. They must be both just and diligent; without selfish designs, or hypocrisy and disguise. Those who fear God, will be just and faithful when from under their master's eye, because they know they are under the eye of God. And do all with diligence, not idly and slothfully; cheerfully, not discontented at the providence of God which put them in that relation. And for servants' encouragement, let them know, that in serving their masters according to the command of Christ, they serve Christ, and he will give them a glorious reward at last. But, on the other hand, he who doeth wrong, shall receive for the wrong which he hath done. God will punish the unjust, as well as reward the faithful servant; and the same if masters wrong their servants. For the righteous Judge of the earth will deal justly between master and servant. Both will stand upon a level at his tribunal. How happy would true religion make the world, if it everywhere prevailed, influenced every state of things, and every relation of life! But the profession of those persons who are regardless of duties, and give just cause for complaint to those they are connected with, deceives themselves, as well as brings reproach on the gospel.

How can you continue to participate, don’t kid yourselves apathy and lethargy are passive forms of participation; in the things that YOU know are not from God.

How ya livin’ 

Bye Bye Bye By: KB 12.15.15

As the New Year fast approaches I want to take time to self-reflect, in font off course, and address the good, the bad and the ugly of 2014.

The good: I had an opportunity to really just let go and be a kid again. I got out of the house and explored the city and enjoyed a few sites that I had let slip by the wayside. Note to self, you live in an amazing city and you owe it to yourself to explore every hidden nook and cranny; even if you’ve been to the place a thousand times you can constantly see things with fresh new eyes. I don’t like the beach but I love the sound of the waves and the smell of the ocean so I compromised and hung out by the SF yacht club and then headed down to the tourist spots on the pier. I rediscovered restaurants and dives…I have to admit I’m kind of partial to the dives because they remind me of my childhood and my blue collar roots.

The bad:  I am fortunate not to have too much bad but what I did have was bad enough to get me in focus and grounded in life. Let’s start with the most recent….a 1 week stay in the hospital due to a cyst and a really outrageous fever as a result of a strange bacterial infection….(still undetermined how I picked up the bacteria) The pain was excruciating and I have a very high pain threshold. I am still on antibiotics (mind you I was hospitalized on November 12^th and it’s now December 15^th. It just speaks to the severity of the situation). During the hospitalization I found out that I’m dancing with the devil diabetes. I have a family history but I’m fighting like hell to manage my blood sugar this on top of already having genetic high blood pressure.

 I’m including the fact that I had to let go of some folks in 2015, not to a physical death but to a mental and emotional releasing. I believe Gwyneth Paltrow said it best when she coined the phrase “conscious uncoupling.” I realized that I hold on to people or things far too long thinking they’re going to get better or make adjustments…extending the benefit of the doubt when doubt is all there ever is. I’ve release some people due to extreme selfishness…they had no qualms about depleting my resources while hoarding theirs; calling upon me to add stress to my life. You know the folks who call on you like you’re Olivia Pope (Scandal) to fix their lives only so you can accommodate their own hedonism. I had to release my own notion of romanticism and romantic love because not everyone can and will appreciate it. I had to understand it was born out of my own need….. which leads me to the ugly.

The ugly: I had to realize that the notion of my “romanticism and incurable romantic” (oh! Trust I’m cured) was birth from my childhood insecurities and dysfunction….and it led me to a place of thirst (some of y’all know what thirst means on a street level but I’m talking about in a Biblical sense….I had a serious desert experience. I was left to wander an emotional wilderness to really search my soul and I learned some hard truths but the beauty of it all is that I lived to tell about it. I’ve gone through it hopefully I’ve learned all of what it had to teach me and I am so much better for having gone through it.

 

I am reborn, refocus and rejuvenated from all of 2015 and I am ready to taste the fruit that the good Lord sees fit to provide….

How ya livin’?