Awww Man Homie – Yo’ Mind Is Playing Tricks On Me BY: KB 7.31.15

I recently experienced de ja moo----no, you read that right; I used the word moo because it was the greatest crock of bulls--- that I’ve heard in a long while. You ever notice that people who cause drama and chaos never quite remember things the way you do? Not saying that my memory is totally accurate, we as people, tend to catastrophize things that cause us hurt and harm and the person who inflicts the pain tends to minimize and justify. But I gotta tell you being on the receiving end of the fecal splatter has not clouded my judgment or reality about what went down……

I’m saying all this to say that the George Santayana quote “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” is so true…..I cannot get with a person who can only relate to me with “remember that time” or relives their fantasy version of things. What’s the point? Who is benefiting from living out the skewed version? What is to be gained by acting like the insanity didn’t happen?

All I’m really sayin’ is TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YO’STUFF AND DEAL WITH IT! 

How ya livin' ?

A Letter To Those I Love BY: KB 7.28.15

I’ve mentally wrestled with myself about voicing this opinion but the deafening silence on the internet tells me that it needs to be spoken.

This is an open challenge to family and friends….stay with me on this thought….

The media told us that Charles Manson was a whack job because of his Helter Skelter race war theories….but here we are living them out…has the media addressed it? Yes, in a culturally biased “objective” journalistic way that still tends to blame the victims. We’ll analyze the hell out of things and then leave it alone until the next “best” tragedy occurs. When is enough ENOUGH?!!!!

To my family….some of you guys remain silent, you’ll share picture of family and outings, hell you’ll share pictures of your food to the enth degree…..but won’t share an opinion to save your life….and it just may.  Our family is a huge melting pot of races and cultures yet, we are ALL people of color….and I know for a fact that we are clannish, meaning if something happens to one of us you better be prepared to deal with us all…. So, what I’m saying is that we should apply that same love to all our brothers and sisters but what’s happening in our society could very well happen to one of us.

Now, we all have varying degrees of melanin (keeping it real) and some of us have been acculturated differently but we have the same blood surging through our veins…..yet some of you remain silent and sheltered. When is enough ENOUGH?!!!!

To the people who call me friend….why are you quiet? Friendship means more than saying I have a friend of color….If you count me as a friend and you see something having a profound impact on my mind, body and spirit….I expect you to step up and speak up. You guys may never ever understand what it means to be Black, gay and female in this country but all of you know and have felt oppression and injustice at some point in time…

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. famously said "no one is free until we are all free." This idea, profound in its simplicity, finds company among famous aphorisms in the Jewish textual tradition—the biblical command to "love your neighbor as yourself," and Hillel the Elder's famous principle, "that which is hateful to you do not do to your neighbors.”

How ya livin'?

All Lives Matter… but we first have to value life By: KB 7.24.15

I am celebrating my birthday today in my own imitable style….shooting from the lip and taking no prisoners, saying what needs to be said without fear!

Once again I am writing about race, not because I want to but because I have to.  Just because people of color are choosing to turn the other cheek does not mean we have to be silent and accept the injustice!

Death, bigotry and prejudice have become EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) compliant. Now the police are brutalizing and killing women of color and still using the same old tired excuses that they’ve used for years (and the band played on.)  

Worst yet, I pride myself in my choice to celebrate and defend diversity but I am now  growing very weary of hearing my white friends say that they don’t see color and selectively reacting to the genocide; yes I used THAT word. I’m tired of people convoluting the issue by bringing in invalid and moot points to justify their apathy. Let me set you ALL straight on a few facts so we can come together and kill the diseased thinking of racism and treat the atrophy that prevents all people from moving….

To my white friends – you don’t see color because you are not conditioned to. The America you know is founded by and embraced by you and you operate in an infrastructure (privilege) that was built for and by you. Imagine having to defend your presence on a daily basis, imagine hearing s--- like, “you speak so well” when English is your ONLY language,  imagine not ever hearing your history until you’re damn near an adult, imagine being a child and never seeing your image correctly depicted in print or effigy (dolls), imagine having to pay higher prices just for the “privilege” of being relegated to a ghetto existence, imagine it being assumed that you’ll never make it to college, so, if you’re lucky, you’re taught a trade, imagine a system of operation so biased that by the time you’re an 18 years old, you stand a greater chance of going to prison than you do of getting a job or going to college, Imagine being treated as a good luck charm or a novelty, imagine only being able to live in certain area because you entertain or perform for the dominant culture in that area. Imagine hearing that you’re not good enough, you don’t fit in, you’ll have to work harder …day in and day out and these perceptions are based solely and wholly on the color of your skin. Yet people still want to question why people of color are angry. We carry the weight of all that bulls--- day in and day out.

I ain’t asking anybody to apologize for the mistakes and bulls--- of the past, that’s dead and gone. I want people to correct their present for a better future. I’m asking people to recognize that they enjoy privilege and to stop, when it’s extended, and say what about my brother or sister that I SEE on the margin, being excluded. LEVEL THE DAMN PLAYING FIELD. BE BOLD ENOUGH TO SPEAK UP CONSISTENTLY. OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES AND NOT WAIT FOR ONE OF YOUR FRIEND OF COLOR TO POINT IT OUT.

The second thing I want to point out is that no one gets a pass on the N word….it had its place in history. It was funny when comedians used it to illustrate the hypocrisy and injustice; it was funny when it was used to cover the pain of a common experience; we laughed to keep from crying. Now, the word is a bullet in a gun for a rapper. Now the word is a battle cry for the very angry, oppressed and uninformed younger generation. Now the word is embraced by an angry people without hope. Now the word is a weapon for a people without a respect for the sanctity of life; an oppressed people who are returning the gift of hatred that they were given.

Last but by no means least…..stop bulls---ting with the black on black crime statistics as a deflection. Man’s inhumanity to man has no color barriers. The statistics are high in the communities of color because they are crimes of opportunity; crimes that are the result of the systemic conditions that made them possible in the first place…..poverty, oppression and deprivation create a hostile environment but nobody stops to look at the system that bred the contempt.

It’s time to step out of denial and delusion and finish the work that began in the 60’s….the revolution has come and we are at the place of choice and it saddens and angers me to say that more and more people are choosing violence.

How ya’ livin’?

Look at you ….”shoulding” all over people By: KB 7.16.15

We all have that one friend that is quick to offer advice….you know, that one person that seems to start every sentence with “You should……..” I hate to tell you this but when I hear a sentence starting with those two words that person automatically begins to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher and I find myself thinking “you should mind your own business!” Don’t you think if I wanted help I know enough to ask for it?

Some things are just meant for us to wrestle with; like Jacob, we have to wrestle with some things until it blesses us. Some things are just meant to be uncomfortable, ugly leaving us spent and rent. Some things are meant to incinerate our character defects and are not for your friends to understand or help with.

Now, the thing that vexes me (get ready because some of you are going to get mad) is that more often than not, that well-meaning friend has a hidden agenda ( now, you can go into denial about this if you want to but y’all know that I ain’t Willie Wonka – meaning I ain’t sugar coating a damn thing to accommodate people) That well-meaning friend is offering advice from a level of superiority….even if they’ve been through a similar situation….their situation AIN’T yours! Their word AIN’T God’s ! 

Now, don’t get me wrong God does provide messengers and instructors but you have to steal away and reflect on what is He showing you. That well-meanings friend often offers information based on their own unresolved work on old wounds, hurts and fragile ego. That well-meaning friend often offers information based on their belief that THEY did the internal work…..

So what am I saying? Look at the life of the person that is speaking as the authority……

Now, God tells me what I SHOULD DO…..work beside me in encouragement telling me what you’ve seen me do and tell me what I COULD DO!

How ya livin’?!

Faith IS NOT Rhetoric By: KB 7.10.15

I’m an soooooooooo sick of hearing people say that “they believe” but when you hear them talk their belief never extends past THEIR vision.

Proverbs 3:5-6     Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Psalm 37:3     Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

Psalm 37:5     Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

Hebrews 11:1     Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Romans 8:24     For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?

2 Corinthians 4:18     While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 5:7     (For we walk by faith, not by sight:)

None of these verses have…your plans or your outcomes listed………they ALL basically say you trust God to provide exactly what it is that you. The Lord’s prayer is not “thy kingdom come MY WILL be done…”

How ya livin’?

Telling The Truth And Shaming The Devil By: KB 7.10.15

What can I say? The title says it all; I remember my grandma and my mother both using the phrase, trouble is my mother was also taught me about dichotomy in the phrase.  Allow me to flesh this thing out a little bit ….keeping it real, raw and 100 ….like I do.

I have often shared how grateful I am that Facebook (of all things) has allowed me to connect with my family (gotta say it’s quite large and we have sooooo many traits in common.)  I grew up in a world that did not extend beyond my parents, siblings and some first cousins. I knew names and stories, I occasionally saw the faces behind the legendary tales but for the most part I lived in a world that consisted of my parents and siblings. Why? My mom was a victim of domestic violence and her pride would not let her reach out….I now know that there were family members that would have definitely taken my father to task. My grandfather, on several occasions had to give my father a “tune up” but when he got sick and frail my father took the illness as a get out of jail free card. I can’t remember which of my grandparents had passed, I believe it was my grandmother but what I do remember is my father slapping my mother, splitting her lip, the night before a funeral. I do remember my father sadistically tearing our pets from the home and laughing about how he put them out of the car on the expressway. I do remember many a woman coming to the house and calling, often openly challenging my mother about who she was. I do remember my father living in the house that my mother paid rent on, eating steaks in front of us when we were struggling to get by on rice until my mother’s next pay day. I do remember my father stealing rent money and my mother at wits end dealing with loan companies to get by. I do remember my mother being garnished for my father’s debts ….I remember being a frightened kid crying and trying to protect my mom; I also remember being a teenager plotting on how to kill my father after he beat my mother unmercifully. I do remember all the ass whoopings I took because I would openly defy him because I knew he was a bully. I do remember the liberation that came as a teenager when challenging him, telling him that I wasn’t going to take any more ass whoopings because HE was having a bad day. I do remember trembling when I said it , telling him I know I’m not going to win but he’s gonna know that he was in a fight.” I remember having a heartfelt conversation with my mother, begging her to leave my father to save her life (he often used the kids as hostage negotiations)…but she had to save her life. I remember my father petitioning for divorce citing abandonment as the cause. I remember my father selling the house we lived in (bought with insurance money from my grandparents passing) and offering my mother a portion….mind you he NEVER contributed one dime to raising kids or household expenses…..

I’m saying all this to say …my gramps didn’t raise any weak folks; you come for me you better pack a lunch and if you beat me, you better sleep with one eye open. My gramps was a man’s man. My gramps taught us right from wrong and to take as many ass whoopings that the world had to offer and not avoid the lesson it taught or compromise on the principles that you KNEW were true. My gramps taught us that family is all that matters…. I don’t know where my mom gave up. I don’t know where the disconnect came in: I guess pride, guilt and shame all combined and the weight of it all crushed her spirit…..I AM NOT MY MOM!!!! I love the lady, I love the fact that she was still able to teach what my gramps intended for us to have and be.

FAMILY IS EVERYTHING!!!!!

Sacred Bigotry BY: KB 7.1.15

OMG!!! I mean it literally Oh MY precious God! So, I’m reading and posting my usual morning devotionals when I come across this post, for the second time; I was too engrossed in the legalities and realities of the SCOTUS’s ruling to really give it any thought. Today, the insanity of this piece hit me right between the eyes…

http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/christian-trends/3-resources-for-christians-wondering-what-s-next-on-same-sex-marriage.html

As a triple minority threat, Black, Gay and female, I am compelled to ask – How is who I love a threat to people? How has MY loving someone of the same gender a threat to THEIR reality? How has the fight for rights and recognition impacted THEIR spiritual walk and THEIR interpretation of the Scriptures?

There is a quiet campaign of hate and exclusion taking place within the body (church). It’s the same type of convoluted thinking and justification that allowed for slavery and segregation. It’s the same kind of thinking that keeps Sunday’s the most segregated day of the week. It’s the same kind of twisted thinking that has given birth to the various self-help, self-healing and prosperity theologies that are being preached in mega-churches today. Yet we continue to scream about the purity and sanctity of the gospel as we continue to twist and pervert it to meet our individual needs.

The path to Christ and enlightenment is very simple and we seem to be adding and subtracting to the word.  While we are busy  preaching our message we tend to neglect the 11^th Commandment given to us just before the crucifixion John 13:33- 35     …"Little children, I am with you a little while longer. You will seek Me; and as I said to the Jews, now I also say to you, 'Where I am going, you cannot come.' "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another."By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

The hypocrisy could almost be laughable if I didn’t know that people are actually rallying a serious contingency to teach churches, a place of refuge and solace, to discriminate against people who need to hear the gospel……(remember the word gospel? It translates to “good news” What’s good about what you’re teaching?)

How ya livin’?